{"id":136395,"date":"2014-08-11T17:30:29","date_gmt":"2014-08-11T21:30:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/?p=136395"},"modified":"2014-08-11T13:50:12","modified_gmt":"2014-08-11T17:50:12","slug":"impossible-preschool-pinterest-crafts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/impossible-preschool-pinterest-crafts\/","title":{"rendered":"10 Impossible Preschool Pinterest Crafts"},"content":{"rendered":"

I don’t know about any of you, but when my kids were in preschool, they basically sucked at crafts more complicated than gluing stuff to a paper plate. At that age, they did not have the manual dexterity, the patience or the interest to sit for longer than 5-10 minutes so besides Fun With Glue<\/strong> and chopping paper to shreds with their blunt little scissors, mine did not do much Mini Martha Stewart<\/strong>-ing.<\/a><\/p>\n

You would never know that this age group is not the most craft-friendly by browsing Pinterest<\/strong>. If you do a search for “preschool crafts” things come up that I could have barely handled in 4th grade, let alone at four years old. I am just going to have to go ahead and guess that these perfectly Pinteresty results <\/a>are more the work of an overly eager mommy than a budding, baby artiste- it’s very funny to imagine the little ones running laps around their\u00a0Pottery Barn Kids craft table<\/a> while mom painstakingly glues googly eyes to the foam core octopus she is “helping” them make. It makes me giggle and hopefully, it will make you giggle too. Behold- my 10 favorite impossible preschool Pinterest crafts:<\/p>\n

1. This Craft Will Never Happen Because, Fruit Loops And Goldfish<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"cereal\"

2. Rainbow Of Frustration And Disappointment<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"rainbow\"

At first glance, this one seems easy enough but let’s think for a moment about glue. It needs time to dry. Preschoolers are not the most patient bunch and I am twitching thinking about how many times I would have to say “Hang on- can’t do the other side until this side is dry! One more minute!” Sweet baby Jesus.<\/p>\n

3. Mr. Potato Head Picasso<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"potato\"

4. These Gorgeous Monster Toilet Rolls Your Kid Could Never Reproduce<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"monster\"

Why even set the bar this high, Pinterest? These look like something out of a Tim Burton<\/strong> film. Any parent of a preschooler knows that these toilet paper roll monsters will just be a drippy, unrecognizable mess. Shoot for the moon, I guess.<\/p>\n

\n

5. Ok, Now We Are Just Swimming Toward Ridiculous-ville<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"fish\"

6. E Is For Extra-Impossible<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"eagle\"

7. A Web Of Fucking Lies<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"web\"

8. It’s Magically Ridiculous!<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"pot\"

Ok, file this one under “Mom Is Making The Entire Thing From Start To Finish”. It’s adorable, I will admit, but seriously? Are we going to pretend for even a moment that a 4-year old could make this?<\/p>\n

9. A Royal Pain<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"princess\"

10. I Think This Monkey Is Mocking Me<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"monkey\"

Ugh, shit, so many parts. I’m not sure I could even figure out where they all go. I can picture my kid losing interest by the first leg placement and then it would be me, all alone, drinking wine and assembling a paper plate monkey. Sounds about right. Eff you, Pinterest.<\/p>\n

(All craft images: via Pinterest<\/a>)<\/p>\n

(Feature image: Poznyakov\/Shutterstock) <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I don’t know about any of you, but when my kids were in preschool, they basically sucked at crafts…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1000007,"featured_media":136430,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[77],"tags":[29,137,5774,7353,5562,35162],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":77,"label":"mom fun"}],"post_tag":[{"value":29,"label":"childrearing"},{"value":137,"label":"children's education"},{"value":5774,"label":"crafts"},{"value":7353,"label":"gallery"},{"value":5562,"label":"pinterest"},{"value":35162,"label":"preschool"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/08\/shutterstock_128558228.jpg",500,375,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Valerie Williams","author_link":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/author\/valeriewilliams\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":77,"name":"mom fun","slug":"mom-fun","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":977,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":3,"count":448,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":77,"category_count":448,"category_description":"","cat_name":"mom fun","category_nicename":"mom-fun","category_parent":3}],"tag_info":[{"term_id":29,"name":"childrearing","slug":"childrearing-2","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":29,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":845,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":137,"name":"children's education","slug":"childrens-education","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":137,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":196,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":5774,"name":"crafts","slug":"crafts","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":5855,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":23,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":7353,"name":"gallery","slug":"gallery-2","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":7444,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":2500,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":5562,"name":"pinterest","slug":"pinterest","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":5643,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":39,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":35162,"name":"preschool","slug":"preschool","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":1158,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":40,"filter":"raw"}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/136395"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1000007"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=136395"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/136395\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/136430"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=136395"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=136395"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=136395"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}