{"id":112768,"date":"2014-01-11T13:00:56","date_gmt":"2014-01-11T18:00:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/?p=112768"},"modified":"2014-01-10T06:42:51","modified_gmt":"2014-01-10T11:42:51","slug":"when-the-kids-are-away","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/when-the-kids-are-away\/","title":{"rendered":"Top 10 Things To Do When Your Kids Are At A Sleepover"},"content":{"rendered":"<figure id=\"attachment_112769\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-112769\" style=\"width: 384px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8719658068_d88a108de9.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112769 lazyload\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" data-src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8719658068_d88a108de9.jpg\" width=\"384\" height=\"500\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8719658068_d88a108de9.jpg 384w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8719658068_d88a108de9-154x200.jpg 154w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 384px) 100vw, 384px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 384px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 384\/500;\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112769\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8719658068_d88a108de9.jpg\" width=\"384\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8719658068_d88a108de9.jpg 384w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8719658068_d88a108de9-154x200.jpg 154w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 384px) 100vw, 384px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-112769\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><a href=\"https:\/\/secure.flickr.com\/photos\/epiclectic\/8719658068\/sizes\/m\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">epiclectic<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>A few months ago the unthinkable happened &#8211; all three of my kids had reasons to be out of the house. My two older girls had sleepovers and a friend of mercifully babysitting my son so I could get some &#8220;me&#8221; time. And, though it was a moment every parent dreams of from the first time they go 36 hours without sleep, I was at a loss for what to do. Don&#8217;t let this be you! When the kids are away, YOU should play.<\/p>\n<p>Here are my top 10 things to do when your kids are at a sleepover&#8230;or really anywhere that isn&#8217;t up your butt.<\/p>\n<p><strong>10. Pee&#8230;in private for once.\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_112770\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-112770\" style=\"width: 500px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8235827496_ed44b807f7.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112770 lazyload\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" data-src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8235827496_ed44b807f7.jpg\" width=\"500\" height=\"356\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8235827496_ed44b807f7.jpg 500w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8235827496_ed44b807f7-280x200.jpg 280w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8235827496_ed44b807f7-146x104.jpg 146w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 500px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 500\/356;\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112770\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8235827496_ed44b807f7.jpg\" width=\"500\" height=\"356\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8235827496_ed44b807f7.jpg 500w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8235827496_ed44b807f7-280x200.jpg 280w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8235827496_ed44b807f7-146x104.jpg 146w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-112770\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><a href=\"https:\/\/secure.flickr.com\/photos\/78428166@N00\/8235827496\/sizes\/m\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Tobyotter<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>With the door locked and everything! The fact that I would never go to the bathroom alone again was not something they included in the &#8220;So You&#8217;re Gonna Be A Mom&#8221; brochure, and I miss it desperately. So when the kids are gone, pee away, folks. Pee to your heart&#8217;s content.<\/p>\n<p><strong>9. Have some snacks<\/strong><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_112771\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-112771\" style=\"width: 500px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/6936160446_0cea7d10dc.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112771 lazyload\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" data-src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/6936160446_0cea7d10dc.jpg\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/6936160446_0cea7d10dc.jpg 500w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/6936160446_0cea7d10dc-267x200.jpg 267w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 500px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 500\/375;\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112771\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/6936160446_0cea7d10dc.jpg\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/6936160446_0cea7d10dc.jpg 500w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/6936160446_0cea7d10dc-267x200.jpg 267w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-112771\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><a href=\"https:\/\/secure.flickr.com\/photos\/moonstarj\/6936160446\/sizes\/m\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">moonstarj<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>This might be the only time you can chow down on some Chips Ahoy or Pringles without a bunch of grubby little hands begging for some. Enjoy it while it lasts.<\/p>\n<p><strong>8. Ignore your housework<\/strong><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_112772\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-112772\" style=\"width: 333px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/4773854114_ec65655689.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112772 lazyload\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" data-src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/4773854114_ec65655689.jpg\" width=\"333\" height=\"500\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/4773854114_ec65655689.jpg 333w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/4773854114_ec65655689-133x200.jpg 133w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 333px) 100vw, 333px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 333px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 333\/500;\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112772\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/4773854114_ec65655689.jpg\" width=\"333\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/4773854114_ec65655689.jpg 333w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/4773854114_ec65655689-133x200.jpg 133w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 333px) 100vw, 333px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-112772\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><a href=\"https:\/\/secure.flickr.com\/photos\/nenejanine\/4773854114\/sizes\/m\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">nenie:0)<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>I mean, if you&#8217;re like me, you do that even when the kids are there, but dammit now you have quiet time to enjoy. Screw the dishes, and the vacuum will still be there in the morning.<\/p>\n<p><strong>7. Take a nap<\/strong><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_112773\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-112773\" style=\"width: 375px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/3190903635_eca7ce8167.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112773 lazyload\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" data-src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/3190903635_eca7ce8167.jpg\" width=\"375\" height=\"500\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/3190903635_eca7ce8167.jpg 375w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/3190903635_eca7ce8167-150x200.jpg 150w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 375px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 375\/500;\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112773\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/3190903635_eca7ce8167.jpg\" width=\"375\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/3190903635_eca7ce8167.jpg 375w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/3190903635_eca7ce8167-150x200.jpg 150w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 375px) 100vw, 375px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-112773\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><a href=\"https:\/\/secure.flickr.com\/photos\/8599033@N04\/3190903635\/sizes\/m\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">jchapman42<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>This one is a no-brainer. It should be the first thing you do, or you&#8217;re a traitor to your kind (tired moms).<\/p>\n<p><strong>6. Get drunk<\/strong><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_112775\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-112775\" style=\"width: 344px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/11819916335_c4a544ccb5.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112775 lazyload\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" data-src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/11819916335_c4a544ccb5.jpg\" width=\"344\" height=\"500\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/11819916335_c4a544ccb5.jpg 344w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/11819916335_c4a544ccb5-138x200.jpg 138w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 344px) 100vw, 344px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 344px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 344\/500;\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112775\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/11819916335_c4a544ccb5.jpg\" width=\"344\" height=\"500\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/11819916335_c4a544ccb5.jpg 344w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/11819916335_c4a544ccb5-138x200.jpg 138w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 344px) 100vw, 344px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-112775\" class=\"wp-caption-text\"><a href=\"https:\/\/secure.flickr.com\/photos\/jbcurio\/11819916335\/sizes\/m\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">jbcurio<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>If that&#8217;s your kind of thing, of course. What better time is there to tie one on then when there aren&#8217;t a bevy of little eyes watching you pour yet <i>another\u00a0<\/i>glass of wine. No one here to judge you, except your cat.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5. Surf the Internet<\/strong><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_112776\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-112776\" style=\"width: 500px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/366472435_3fc476dfe8.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112776 lazyload\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" data-src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/366472435_3fc476dfe8.jpg\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/366472435_3fc476dfe8.jpg 500w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/366472435_3fc476dfe8-267x200.jpg 267w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 500px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 500\/375;\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112776\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/366472435_3fc476dfe8.jpg\" width=\"500\" height=\"375\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/366472435_3fc476dfe8.jpg 500w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/366472435_3fc476dfe8-267x200.jpg 267w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-112776\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Cat is optional ( <a href=\"https:\/\/secure.flickr.com\/photos\/loustanley\/366472435\/sizes\/m\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">lou.stanley<\/a>)<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Again, if you&#8217;re me then you do this anyway, but you can&#8217;t exactly watch YouPorn with the kids in the room, now can you. Not that I DO that, of course (*WINK*).<\/p>\n<p><strong>4. Have sex<\/strong><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_112779\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-112779\" style=\"width: 300px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/parents_bump_uglies-300x199.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112779 lazyload\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" data-src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/parents_bump_uglies-300x199.jpg\" width=\"300\" height=\"199\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/parents_bump_uglies-300x199.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/parents_bump_uglies-300x199-280x186.jpg 280w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 300px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 300\/199;\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112779\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/parents_bump_uglies-300x199.jpg\" width=\"300\" height=\"199\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/parents_bump_uglies-300x199.jpg 300w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/parents_bump_uglies-300x199-280x186.jpg 280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-112779\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Tumblr<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Is your significant other around? Grab that sommabitch and take a ride to Bonetown, population, two (or more, if you&#8217;re into that sort of thing, I&#8217;m not here to judge).<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. Make some phone calls<\/strong><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_112780\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-112780\" style=\"width: 500px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8135119647_2a9c66cd2c.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112780 lazyload\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" data-src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8135119647_2a9c66cd2c.jpg\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8135119647_2a9c66cd2c.jpg 500w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8135119647_2a9c66cd2c-280x158.jpg 280w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 500px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 500\/282;\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112780\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8135119647_2a9c66cd2c.jpg\" width=\"500\" height=\"282\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8135119647_2a9c66cd2c.jpg 500w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8135119647_2a9c66cd2c-280x158.jpg 280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-112780\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Virtua Kazama<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Literally ANY phone call will seem like heaven when you don&#8217;t have a bunch of tiny little ears listening to every word you say, or interrupting you to tell you there is projectile vomit on the ceiling (again).<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. Curse<\/strong><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_112781\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-112781\" style=\"width: 500px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/6108179670_c1d6b73fac.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112781 lazyload\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" data-src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/6108179670_c1d6b73fac.jpg\" width=\"500\" height=\"334\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/6108179670_c1d6b73fac.jpg 500w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/6108179670_c1d6b73fac-280x187.jpg 280w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 500px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 500\/334;\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112781\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/6108179670_c1d6b73fac.jpg\" width=\"500\" height=\"334\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/6108179670_c1d6b73fac.jpg 500w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/6108179670_c1d6b73fac-280x187.jpg 280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-112781\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Seven31Studios<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Curse like you&#8217;ve never cursed before. Your neighbors will think you&#8217;ve gone nuts, but fuck em&#8217; (see, CURSING IS COOL).<\/p>\n<p><strong>1. Watch terrible television<\/strong><\/p>\n<figure id=\"attachment_112782\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-112782\" style=\"width: 500px\" class=\"wp-caption aligncenter\"><a href=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/3575701115_fb460d9f96.jpg\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112782 lazyload\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" data-src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/3575701115_fb460d9f96.jpg\" width=\"500\" height=\"334\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/3575701115_fb460d9f96.jpg 500w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/3575701115_fb460d9f96-280x187.jpg 280w\" data-sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" src=\"data:image\/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAAAAACH5BAEKAAEALAAAAAABAAEAAAICTAEAOw==\" style=\"--smush-placeholder-width: 500px; --smush-placeholder-aspect-ratio: 500\/334;\" \/><noscript><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-full wp-image-112782\" title=\"kids are away\" alt=\"kids are away\" src=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/3575701115_fb460d9f96.jpg\" width=\"500\" height=\"334\" srcset=\"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/3575701115_fb460d9f96.jpg 500w, https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/3575701115_fb460d9f96-280x187.jpg 280w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 500px) 100vw, 500px\" \/><\/noscript><\/a><figcaption id=\"caption-attachment-112782\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Spring O&#8217;Brien<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>The\u00a0<em>Real Housewives<\/em> series is made for times like these. In a pinch any version of\u00a0<em>Keeping Up With The Kardashians<\/em> will do. You&#8217;re looking for brain rot material here.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A few months ago the unthinkable happened &#8211; all three of my kids had reasons to be out of&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":21301,"featured_media":112769,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_kad_blocks_custom_css":"","_kad_blocks_head_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_body_custom_js":"","_kad_blocks_footer_custom_js":"","_kadence_starter_templates_imported_post":false,"_kad_post_transparent":"","_kad_post_title":"","_kad_post_layout":"","_kad_post_sidebar_id":"","_kad_post_content_style":"","_kad_post_vertical_padding":"","_kad_post_feature":"","_kad_post_feature_position":"","_kad_post_header":false,"_kad_post_footer":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[77],"tags":[2237,35117,1350],"taxonomy_info":{"category":[{"value":77,"label":"mom fun"}],"post_tag":[{"value":2237,"label":"alone time"},{"value":35117,"label":"mom fun"},{"value":1350,"label":"sleepovers"}]},"featured_image_src_large":["https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/8719658068_d88a108de9.jpg",384,500,false],"author_info":{"display_name":"Frances Locke","author_link":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/author\/frances-locke\/"},"comment_info":0,"category_info":[{"term_id":77,"name":"mom fun","slug":"mom-fun","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":977,"taxonomy":"category","description":"","parent":3,"count":448,"filter":"raw","cat_ID":77,"category_count":448,"category_description":"","cat_name":"mom fun","category_nicename":"mom-fun","category_parent":3}],"tag_info":[{"term_id":2237,"name":"alone time","slug":"alone-time","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":2300,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":9,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":35117,"name":"mom fun","slug":"mom-fun","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":77,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":191,"filter":"raw"},{"term_id":1350,"name":"sleepovers","slug":"sleepovers","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":1408,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":9,"filter":"raw"}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112768"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/21301"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=112768"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/112768\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/112769"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=112768"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=112768"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mommyish.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=112768"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}