being a mom

Priding Yourself On Being ‘The Worst Mom’ Doesn’t Make You Cool

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By pulling a reverse #humblebrag all about what you aren’t doing for your kid or how you are throwing back a few cocktails rather than baking banana bread for the school bake sale, you can prove to the world, and yourself, that you are momming on your own terms.

The thing is, us moms are pretty much the same. We all love and want what’s best for our kids. We all struggle with maintaining our sense of identity after giving birth to another human. We all have bad days and good days.  With so many cases of real neglect, abuse, abandonment, and filicide in the world today, the title of worst mother should be reserved for those who truly deserve it, not for a normal mother who puts her own needs first on occasion.

It’s normal to feel alienated from other mothers who you see as being more capable or together than you are. It doesn’t matter if she is the one with the kids on the honor roll and the perfectly kept house who always volunteers to bring the sliced fruit to soccer practice or the one with the tattoos and nose ring who probably listens to bands that don’t even exist yet. Every mother feels alone at some point. The worst mom doesn’t even want to acknowledge her insecurities, she just wants to flip everyone the middle finger via exclaiming she parents by not parenting.

There is nothing revolutionary or badass about this. It’s just simple human behavior. The only difference is, some moms slack off on parenting on occasion because they are tired or having a bad day or just feel like taking a shortcut. The worst mother does it so she can prove to the world that even though she may be a mom now, she’s not like other moms.

Using the world as a “confessional” is how these moms seek validation and approval from their mommy peers, and how they can engage in a pissing contest about who gets the title of being the worst mom. If it happens and no one is watching (and it does happen every time a parent is late for a dental appointment for their kid or lets them stay up a few hours past bedtime), then it doesn’t count. It has to be publicized somewhere, casually mentioned in a group of other moms, for it to count. And then it goes beyond just moms relating to each other by sharing their shortcomings. It’s a brand new way for moms to make other moms feel bad about their own parenting choices. If you are too good of a mom, you aren’t a cool mom.

Bragging about how shitty you are as a mom has taken the place of – and it just as annoying as -bragging about how great you are as a mom. Every mom on earth is making mistakes and not the very best choices. It’s just some of us don’t feel the need to share every one of these moments with the rest of the world. As moms we can look to ways to relate to each other and support each other in our choices, or even just confess over a few drinks what we did wrong this week. We don’t need to turn our worst moms brags into just another way to make each other feel like we are momming the wrong way. At the end of the day, all of us are both the best moms and the worst moms. Us plain old moms with no hipster label just don’t feel the need to turn it into a hashtag on Twitter.

(Image: Icons Jewelry/Shutterstock)

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