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10 Horror Movie Characters I Am Pretty Sure You Are A Better Parent Than

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horrorHalloween is a happy reminder for all of us parents that we could be a lot worse. Because as long as you aren’t doing any of the things these cinematic monsters are doing, then I am pretty sure your kid will turn out OK.

Jack Torrance, The Shining 

As long as you aren’t a violent alcoholic who was fired from your teaching position at a prep school and you aren’t trying to engage in sexytimes with half-rotted dead ladies in hotel bathrooms, I am pretty sure you are doing OK.

Corrine Dollanganger, Flowers In The Attic 

Have you left your children trapped in an attic because you are worried your evil father will disinherit you? Do you leave them up there so long that your eldest son decides that because they have no food he will feed your youngest twins his blood? Do you then decide to slowly poison your own children with arsenic doughnuts while they decide to start sexing each other up in the attic while their grandmother beats them? If you answered no to all of these, you are probably doing OK.

 Pamela Sue Voorhees, Friday The 13th 

Yes, a decent argument could be made that Pammy here was just super angry that her son Jason died while she was busy working as a cook at Camp Crystal Lake, but considering she is always encouraging her son to kill half-dressed teens, and she was depicted in literature as just being a severed head, simply means that even though you don’t volunteer at the PTA, you are still a better mom than Pam.

Jerry Blake, The Stepfather 

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We all know being a step-parent can be challenging at times,  but as long as you aren’t butchering your new family when they “disappoint” you then you are probably OK.

 Eleanor Iselin , The Manchurian Candidate tumblr_mj003bJe5r1qzr8nao1_500

If you haven’t brainwashed your kids into being assassins, you are probably doing OK.

Margaret White, Carrie 

Quick go check your broom closet. If there are only brooms and mops and cleaning supplies and not scary crucifixes and candles and a weird altar, and if you have never refereed to your daughter’s breasts as “dirty pillows” or told her that her period is divine punishment for her “lustful thoughts” than you are probably OK.

Bedlam/The Other Mother, Coraline 

The Other Mother is super sweet and fun and will make you all sorts of delicious food, until she gets bored with you and sews you buttons for eyes and eats your soul. I am pretty sure that you are a better mother than this. Bonus quote! Sharper than a serpent’s tooth is a daughter’s ingratitude. Still, the proudest spirit can be broken, with love.

Lori Grimes, The Walking Dead  

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OK, so it isn’t a movie, butIf you are a Walking Dead fan, then these images pretty much sum up everything that can (or could have) been said about Lori, and I am sure if the zombie apocalypse comes you will probably behave the exact opposite of how she does (did.)

Ed Wilson, Natural Born Killers 

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Sexually abusive, verbally abusive, physically abusive, a drooling bully in a stained undershirt and it’s no wonder Mallory grew up to go on a killing spree. You are a way better parent than this guy.

Mrs. Bates, Psycho 

I’m pretty sure whatever Mrs. Bates did to poor Norman growing up had something to do with how he turned out.

And an extra bonus Mom who is not in a horror movie but pretty horrific anyway!

Mary Lee Johnston , Precious

Mo’Nique won best supporting actress for this movie, and she totally deserved it because I think her portrayal of Mary is one of the scariest, most evil performances ever. Precious upset me so much I watched it ONE time and I can never watch it again. This isn’t a horror movie, but I have to give it up for Mo’Nique because she took on this role with such bravery and honesty and ugh, I can’t even think about how cruel and terrifying Precious’s mom is without getting all upset.