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World’s Most Embarrassing Dad Takes Out Full-Page Ad to Find a Wife for His 48-Year-Old Son

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Readers of Mommyish! Are you a petite, politically conservative woman with no children? It doesn’t seem likely. But if you were, you should check out the full-page ad for single Utah businessman Baron Brooks in the Coeur d’Alene Press.

“My name is Baron Brooks. I am 48 years old, never been married and live in Salt Lake City. I am looking for a wife who is ready, willing and able to have children as soon as possible. I look just like my picture except I now have gray hair,” the ad reads, alongside a gold-framed photo of a smiling man in a sweater, with lots of romantic red roses and cursive letters scattered around.

“ABOUT YOU: You will probably be between the ages of 34 and 38, but that can be flexible. You will be attractive being height and weight proportional. Ideally, you will have no children from previous relationships, but that is also flexible.

HERE ARE THE MUSTS

  • You must be willing to move to Salt Lake City as that is where my business is located.
  • You must be politically conservative. This is very important to me. If you voted for Obama or plan to vote for Hillary you are not for me.
  • I am 5’5″ and if you are 5’8″ and like to wear high heels it may not work.
  • Religion is open.
  • I would expect that if we have children you would be a stay at home mom.”

The fact that the ad was taken out in an Idaho newspaper and requires moving to Utah is not even the weirdest thing about this, because it turns out Brooks did not take out this ad at all. His father did. Brooks is understandably embarrassed and pissed at his 78-year-old father, who is apparently really eager to be a grandfather as soon as possible.

“My father did this without my consent,” Brooks said in a phone interview Monday. “I can’t even describe to you how embarrassing and ridiculous this is.”

We can imagine, though.

Brooks’ father reportedly paid $900 for the full-page ad after he visited Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, and liked the politically conservative town very much.

Brooks’ father plans on interviewing prospective dates for his son, and then paying first-class travel and airfare for the woman of his choice and a chaperone to come to Utah for a date with his son. The elder Brooks intends to go through with the plan, and his son has shrugged it off.

“What am I supposed to do? He already did it,” he said. “No sense in defusing a bomb once it’s already gone off.”