Let’s Celebrate World Vasectomy Day With A Toast To The Snipped

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heroic man in a suit and a capeHey everybody, it’s World Vasectomy Day! Don’t worry, there’s still time for you to run out and get a card and some flowers for that special snipped guy in your life. When it comes to the penis, men are known to be, in general, sensitive about things that happen to it. In particular, sharp things. So we at Mommyish want to give a big ol’ high five to all the dudes out there who have taken the leap and taken one for the team to make sure there will be no more babies coming from that particular Johnson.

The co-founder of World Vasctomy Day is a Dr. Doug Stein from Florida who is a specialist in the taming of the spunk monkey. Today is the second annual world-wide recognition of the demobilization of pocket rockets, and to celebrate this special day doctors will plug the skin flutes of over 1,500 men across 30 countries. Dr. Stein will be responsible for disarming 28 helmeted warriors himself. To all those brave men, I shall sit on an ice cube for 30 seconds in your honor.

But World Vasectomy Day isn’t just some promotional event to get more men to put a cap on their tonsil toothbrush. No, vasectomies help reduce the global population which has a positive affect on our climate. See? Science! Also, some of us would argue that after a women endure a lifetime of menstruation, cramps, pregnancies, and childbirths, perhaps a fella could go in for a ten-minute procedure to char his bacon rod.

Just thinking out loud, here.

It’s also worth a mention that The Convention on Wildlife Diversity has really gotten behind (pun intended) this day, with it’s own wildlife-focused promotions. From Mashable:

CBD is promoting [the event] with a series of cartoons with slogans like “Wildlife give thanks, cause I’m shooting blanks” (CBD’s population program has also made headlines for distributing condoms branded with endangered species and lines like “Don’t go bare, panthers are rare,” or “Safe intercourse saves the dwarf seahorse.”)

Those are the best marketing slogans of all time. Period.

Also, I may have buried the lede here, but you should know that the World Vasectomy Day website has been live-streaming vasectomies all day. So go peel a banana and fire up the old laptop, where you can watch dozens of strangers get their placenta pokers dulled.

So our hats are off (pun intended) to all the awesome men out there who have gotten vasectomies so that women don’t have to do one more goddamn thing. You are heroes. Each and every one of you.

Oh, and save the dwarf seahorse.

(note: I would like to thank fellow Mommyish writer Aimee Ogden for her help with this post. She knows more names for penises than I ever imagined possible.)

(Photo: Alpha Spirit / Shutterstock)