Resolution Week: 10 Words I’m Still Going To Use In 2015 Because I’m An Adult And I Do What I Want
It’s Resolutions Week at Mommyish! Check out all our other posts here.
The internet is always telling us what we can and cannot do, isn’t it? I’m an expert at avoiding advice — especially when it comes from random people on the internet. In an interesting twist, I get paid to write words, and sometimes those words are in the form of advice. The universe is a funny place.
I hate it when bossy people literally make lists of things we should and shouldn’t say. What? I just can’t with those people. I’ve made a list of seriously amazing words you should totally never let any garbage human guilt your feminist self out of using. Haha.
1. Amazing
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In an online writers group I used to be a part of, one of the members once posted,”Can we stop using “amazing” to describe everything?” No. No we can’t. Because “amazing” is a fucking amazing adjective second only to fantastic. Who has a problem with such a positive word? Assholes, that’s who. Amazing ones.
2. Garbage
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“Garbage” is the best word to describe gross, annoying people or things. What is stinkier than garbage? What is more annoying than garbage? What other entity’s rightful place is on the curb? “Garbage” has turned from an uninteresting noun to a very useful adjective. Also, “garbage human” is my favorite insult. Not gonna stop.
3. Feminist
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No, I’m not going to stop using this word. If anything, it’s going to be my personal mission to get more women to identify with it in 2015. FEMINISTFEMINISTFEMINISTFEMINIST.
4. Totally
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You can take the girl out of the valley but… “Totally” is my affirmative response to pretty much everything. “Can you cover this story, Maria?” TOTALLY. “Would you like a drink, Maria?” TOTALLY. “Are your kids driving you nuts, Maria?” TOTALLY. It completely fits almost every situation.
5. Haha
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“Haha” is superior to “LOL” in my book, and it always will be.
6. Seriously
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Yes, this is probably an unnecessary word, since I use it all the time and people rarely think I’m joking. But, whatever. It’s so versatile: it can be a response, an answer, or an exclamation. Yesterday my four-year-old got two shots at the doctor’s office, and after the second one he said, “SERIOUSLY GUYS?” Perfection.
7. Literally
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Stop saying “literally.” You don’t literally mean that. Do you know what “literally” means? Stop saying it. It doesn’t make sense. You do not mean “literally.” SHUT UP. I do what I want. Literally.
8. What?
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People usually think I haven’t heard them and repeat themselves when I say this. Nope. I can totally hear you. “What” actually means “no fucking way” and I use it constantly. It also means, “I hear you friend. I am shocked by what you are telling me.”
9. Bossy
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No, Sheryl Sandberg, I will not stop using “bossy.” Stop being so damn bossy.
10. Awesome
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Is there a more awesome word than “awesome?” I don’t think so. This is another word that gets a bad rap because of its valley girl association. Whatever. I just realized “whatever” should totally be on this list.
(photo: Aaron Amat/ Shutterstock)
