having a baby

I Was Never Completely Comfortable Breastfeeding Because, Breasts

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breastI am very in favor of breastfeeding, but I also fully understand that it is a personal choice that may not work for every woman. I ended up breastfeeding my first son for nine months and my second son for seven months. We supplemented the rest of the time with formula, and everyone was happy.

I never had any issue with breastfeeding—I just didn’t “love” it. I had a good supply, but I soon alternated with pumping because I hated wrestling a baby to my breast multiple times a day. I also personally never saw the convenience of breastfeeding in public.

I’m not freaked out by public breastfeeding. I think any woman should be able to feed her baby whenever and however and wherever she wants. But I couldn’t do it. I literally never breastfed either of my kids in public; instead, I pumped enough breast milk for an outing or brought formula with us. I just wasn’t comfortable with it.

I know, I know, I KNOW that breastfeeding is not a sexual act in the least. As I’ve just stated, I think women should be able to breastfeed wherever they want. Feeding a child has nothing to do with a woman being indecent. Nothing at all.

I believe these things, but for some reason, I wasn’t able to do it. I also didn’t really want to because pumping was so easy for me. But I think one of the greatest hesitations I had about public breastfeeding was that the activity would be centered around my breasts. I know that it is not sexual in any way, but I didn’t feel comfortable enough in my own skin to do it. I really admire women who can.

To me, this is an interesting crossroads in the breastfeeding debate. Women should be able and should be encouraged to breastfeed publicly to support the cause. But what about women like me that never feel comfortable feeding publicly?

I can admit that it was my own limitation that never allowed me to publicly breastfeed. Maybe I could have worked harder to breastfeed in any setting, but I personally do not have any regrets. I still pumped and gave my baby breast milk while I had it. After that, I gave my baby formula until he moved on to cow’s milk. I fed my baby in public in the way that was most comfortable for me.

(Image: Pavel L Photo and Video/shutterstock)