mom fun

This Woman’s Experience Using a Mint Body Wash Will Leave You Howling

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A British blogger was in for a…minty…surprise when she used a new brand of body wash. Kathryn, who runs the Facebook page I Know, I Need To Stop Talking, shared the story with her fans in a Facebook rant that had me howling. If you’ve ever washed your body with any sort of mint-infused product, her story probably won’t surprise you.

In her open letter rant to Original Source, the company responsible for making the body wash, blogger Kathryn did a lovely job of painting the scene.

“I’d like to take you back to around 6.45am this morning, when I stepped into my bath, and found that my usual, rather innocuous bottle of shower gel (Waitrose essentials, Rose) had run out. A tad irritating, but fortuitously, I had a solution close to hand. A brand new, unopened bottle of your very own Mint and Tea Tree Shower Gel. My bodily cleanliness was assured once more. I breathed a sigh of relief.”

I know that feel…when you get into the shower and only realize after you’re all wet that you’re out of something essential. Kathryn described using the body wash as “a positively first class bathing experience.” She said she washed and shaved her legs, then moved on to her arms, neck, breasts, stomach and back. And that…that is when things got interesting. In her words,

“MY VAGINA WAS ABLAZE.”

After first being confused, she realized the mint in the body wash was to blame. “Yes, Original Source, your innocuous looking green bottle of so called shower gel, it turns out, is an absolute fucking liability. MY FLAPS WERE ON FUCKING FIRE. I had a quick look at the ingredients list to see if it contained gasoline. It did not. There was a warning though. ‘KEEP AWAY FROM EYES.’ Keep away from eyes? KEEP AWAY FROM EYES? Frankly, my eyes were the least of my problems right now.”

lots of vagina pain

Image: Facebook / @iknowineedtostoptalkingblog

I once had a peppermint body wash mishap where I got some of it on my face. My face turned bright red and it burned for HOURS. That was bad enough, so to have that same sensation on my vagina? I cannot imagine. Luckily, Kathryn is here to explain exactly how bad it was.

“I frantically scrubbed my flaps, which by now felt as though they were being ceremoniously scrubbed by ants wearing ice skates laced with chilli sauce. ‘7,929 tingling leaves’ claimed the front of the bottle. Tingling? TINGLING? This wasn’t tingling my minge. It was starting a fucking bush fire down there. (Pun entirely intended. You can thank me later.)”

SHE SCRUBBED HER FLAPS. Bless her.

Kathryn wrote in her letter that her “front bottom” finally stopped hurting twelve hours later. Jesus. That poor woman. She made one final suggestion to Original Source — a name change to “7,927 tingling leaves which will accost your genitalia until it screams for mercy.”

Honestly, it’s kinda catchy.

(Image: Facebook / @I Know, I Need To Stop Talking)