Woman Wants To Protect The Children By Suing All Gay People For Being Gay, Somehow

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shutterstock_215430139While most of the nation is eagerly awaiting the June US Supreme Court opinion that will determine whether gay couples should be afforded equal protection when it comes to marriage (yes, the answer is unequivocally yes), one woman has decided to take the issue into her own hands. Sylvia Ann Driskell has filed a lawsuit  on behalf of God against all the homosexuals. Yep, you read that correctly.

According to NBC News, Driskell, who is 66 years old and from Auburn, Nebraska, filed the matter of Driskell v. Homosexuals in Nebraska Federal District Court. Her handwritten petition is over seven pages long, contains lots of Bible quotes and is difficult to follow. If I had to describe it in one word, that word would be homophobic.

In her petition, Diskell calls herself the “Ambassador for Plaintiff God and His Son, Jesus Christ.”  She names the defendants as “Homosexuals, Their Given Name Homosexuals, Their, Alis [sic]Gay.

She asks,”To be heard in the matter of homosexuality. Is Homosexuality [sic] a sin or not.” Not only is the entire concept of the separation between church and state lost on this woman, she appears to be acting as God and therefore God is asking a federal court judge to make this determination for Him. Outside of Star Wars, I didn’t realize people who wear black robes had more power than those who are depicted as wearing white.

If this is a thing, then I’d like to file a lawsuit on behalf of God against the sky. You see, the sky gets cloudy sometimes, and God just doesn’t like it. Trust me on this, I’m his Ambassador. Now please Judge, make the clouds go away forever.

Driskell goes on to argue back and forth with herself, writing what she believes are arguments in favor of equal protection and then quoting a bunch of Bible verses. I can’t bring myself to type such hateful nonsense, but if you want to read her petition in its entirety, it’s here.

Driskell has yet to have papers served on the opposing side in her lawsuit. This makes sense, as I don’t believe the gay community has an official leader, though I would absolutely vote for Neil Patrick Harris as king, or perhaps Sir Elton John would do nicely.

All joking aside, hopefully her lack of proper service coupled with the fact that that her case lacks legal standing, fails to state a claim of damages,  doesn’t contain an actual claim for relief and doesn’t cite a single statute, will lead to this case being promptly and swiftly dismissed.

But the fact that she was even allowed to file it in the first place is disgusting and further underscores the need for marriage equality in this nation.

 Most of Driskell’s ranting focuses on her idea that children raised by gay parents will suffer. She defines parents and marriage in strictly antiquated heterosexual terms and says: “They the Homosexuals claim they have the right to be parents.”  For her coup de grace, Driskell offers this:

As we know if a child is raised in a home of liars, deceivers and thieves, that it is reasonable to believe that child will grow up to be one of the three are [sic] all three.

If it is indeed true that children have no choice but to follow in their parents footsteps, let’s hope Driskell doesn’t have children of her own.