This Story About A Teenager Marrying Her Dad Will Make Your Head Spin

Oh god. I don’t even know where to begin, so here goes: New York Magazine has an interview with an 18-year-old woman who is dating and engaged to her father. It is fascinating, but even more so it is disturbing and unsettling. I try to be openminded and tolerant of people’s life choices, but I’m going to draw the line at dating your effing father. This story should come with a giant, flashing WARNING sign up top.

Yes, the magazine has gone ahead and topped their “What It’s Like To Date A Horse” interview with “What It’s Like To Date Your Dad,” and it is as weird as you can imagine. The relationship is described as Genetic Sexual Attraction (ie, when genetic relatives have a romantic connection or bond, often after being separated or meeting as adults) which can happen, apparently, for reasons “including a primordial feeling of always having ‘belonged’ to the estranged relative, a sense of wanting to experience the bonding missed out on during childhood, or simply an overwhelming closeness based on similarities: like meeting a mate who was designed for you in a science lab.”

In this instance, the 18-year-old woman was estranged from her dad, 36, for twelve years. They reunited when she was 17, and are now in a romantic relationship. The entire interview is worth reading, but here are some, er, highlights. Be warned, your head might hurt from shaking it a lot while reading. To be clear: she is describing an incestuous relationship with her father. Some of the content could be very trigger-y for some readers.  For that reason, I’ve put it on the next page.

Their connection – even after years apart – was instant. 

We chitchatted online for a few days and found out we were similar. We shared the same favorite TV shows ”” The Simpsons and The Big Bang Theory ”” and we both love to draw. He came to see me about a week later. You wouldn’t have believed we hadn’t been around each other for 12 years. The idea of ”getting to know him” seemed strange because we are so much alike.

She was confused about her feelings, because duh.

It was so weird and confusing. I was seeing my dad for the first time in forever but it was also like, He’s so good-looking! And then I was like,What the hell are you thinking? What is wrong with you? I saw him as my dad but then also part of me was like, I’m meeting this guy who I have been talking to over the internet and really connecting with and I find him attractive.

Here, she describes her dad getting a boner after they spooned. Lord, help me.

Sleeping in new places makes me very anxious so I asked him to stay with me in case I had one of the terrible nightmares I usually experience. The second night I had him sleep on the couch again and then the third night I fell asleep with him on the floor lying on his chest, in his arms. The fourth night rolls around and we ended up on the floor again. This time we actually cuddled. When he woke up, we were spooning. I didn’t know this at the time but later, after we admitted our feelings, he told me he had had ”morning wood” and had gone to fix it.

Then they had sex. This all took place at the home the Dad shared with his girlfriend. The daughter was a virgin. She lost her virginity TO HER DAD.

That night we were play-wrestling in the room I was going to sleep in and I bit him. He was wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a tank top and after I bit him I could see goose bumps pop up from his toes to his shoulders. Then he pinched my inner thigh and I got goose bumps.

We stopped and said that we didn’t know what was going on but admitted that we had strong feelings for each other. We discussed whether it was wrong and then we kissed. And then we made out, and then we made love for the first time. That was when I lost my virginity.

 

There’s a reason I lost my virginity to him ”” because I’d never felt comfortable with any other man. It was insanely sensual. It lasted for about an hour and there was a lot of foreplay. We both had orgasms. We are so similar so it’s so easy to sexually please each other. For example, we both hate neck-biting. I’ve never been in a more passionate, loving, fulfilling situation.

 

It wasn’t weird at all. It felt so natural. It didn’t even feel taboo. I felt like I had just made love with a man who I’d been with for years.

 

I told him I was saving myself for someone who I’d be committed to for the rest of my life. It was important for me to make it clear that if I made love to him he was in a relationship with me. I didn’t regret it at all. I was happy for once in my life. We fell deeply in love.

Now, they are planning a wedding.

I’m planning on a full-on wedding but it won’t be legally registered. And personally, I don’t believe you need a piece of paper to prove that you want to be with the person you love. When you get married, you are signing part of yourself over to somebody We’ll tell everybody that we got our marriage license but they don’t have to see it. One of our friends will act as the celebrant.

 

We plan to move to New Jersey where we can be safe under the law, since adult incest isn’t illegal there, and once I’m there I’ll tell everyone. I’ll call my mom and let her know that we are in love and we are having children. If she wants to see her grandkids we’ll send her money and she can drive to see us. Once we are out about it I won’t be comfortable going back to my hometown. What if someone calls the cops?

As for people who might disagree with her life choices…

When you are 18 you know what you want. You’re an adult under the law and you’re able to consent. I can take care of myself. I don’t need protection. If I were in a situation where I needed to get out I would. I’m not afraid to defend myself.

Me, right now: 

This woman is described as living in “the Great Lakes region” so I have no idea how to determine what the laws are in her state. But statutory rape and incest, obviously, are very real issues in relation to her story. This is not love, it’s abuse. Even if no laws are being broken, something is desperately wrong with this situation, in particular with HER DAD, who, as the adult in this situation, should have distanced himself from her immediately and never pursued a sexual relationship. She is young, from a troubled home, and clearly looking for love and connection. He’s taking advantage of her and abusing her, and it’s manipulative and wrong. Everyone is immature at 18, and convinced they know exactly what they’re doing. I hope, for this woman’s sake, that she’s able to get distance from her dad, some counseling, and a bus ticket far, far away from him and this whole mess.

(Photo: Shutterstock, GIF: via)