Why You Shouldn’t Wait To Get Your Toddler Tested For Special Needs

As parents, “Special Needs” is kind of scary, right? We can all agree on that. We spend years obsessing over and protecting out children. We try to do everything in our power to make sure that they are happy and healthy. So when there’s a possibility that our blessed little angels might have a problem, it can be so difficult to recognize and acknowledge. And yet, early identification is one of the most increasingly important parts of getting the right care to help special needs children.

To find out more information about early testing for children, I went right to the people who work in the system. I spent the morning at field day with special needs educators, coordinators, speech and physical therapists. I met parents whose children are in special needs programs, and of course some awesome little ones who were thriving after having been identified as special needs and placed in early childhood programs. It was a truly amazing experience and it gave me insight into a program that many parents find upsetting or scary.

First of all, are we all aware that the Federal government mandates that states provide special needs children with education and assistance starting at 3 years of age. Many states also have programs that will visit your home for children under 3. That means that wherever you live, your local public schools have specialized care and trained professionals who can help your kids with any number of developmental delays.

What kind of care is given? “Well there’s speech, physical and occupational therapy. Those are all specialists who come to work with the kids. But it’s also worth noting that these children have three adults in a class of six or eight kids. At no other time will they get this level of attention and care,” one teacher told me. And it’s true, I was so amazed to see the number of adults on the playground with a relatively small group of kids. The groups might have been easily matched. And this focused care is important, because it helps each child find exactly what they need.

“For some kids, just the structure of a school day is really helpful for them. They do better when they know what to expect every day and it’s hard to create that kind of structure at home, especially if you’re a working parent.” With so many adults who are trained to help young children, it’s important to note that each individual child has their own action plan, their own goals and their own specialized therapy.

Is this really a parent’s problem though? I don’t think that we doubt that schools do everything they can to help these kids. The problem comes when we have to consider that our children might be a part of that group. It’s when we have to accept that there’s a problem. I decided to throw out the common parenting hesitations and see what these professionals had to say about mommy hang-ups.

“Kids develop differently…” I started to give the common phrase to one of the speech therapists. She cut in and said, “They do. And that’s why some of them need help.” It was so simple, her approach to this issue that feels enormous for many parents. “There’s definitely a stigma attached to special needs,” she explained. “But parents don’t realize that things as simple as speech issues can get early attention so that they don’t become a problem later. They get speech, they get language enrichment. These things make it easier for them when they do get into general education.”

That transition, from special needs classes to general education, is one that was a pretty common topic of discussion among the teachers, because it happens a lot more often than you’d think. On a rough estimate, a special needs coordinator told me that 80% of her early-identified special needs children go on to general education. I heard about one student who after just two years in special needs pre-school tested out of the program for kindergarten.

So often, we think the special needs label is a stigma that will carry kids around for the rest of their educational careers. “The truth is that early identification is so important because it helps kids move out of these programs easier. We address the problems before they manifest and help ones who aren’t quite ready for school yet prepare.” Instead of sticking kids with a label, starting these programs at 3 years old allows the kids to have a more normal school experience.

“And it’s important to point out that speech therapy and occupational therapy aren’t seen as ‘special needs’ to the other kids,” pointed out one teacher who has an integrated classroom of pre-kindergartners. “The other kids are jealous that their friends get to go have special time with an adult. It’s seen as fun, not a reason to be embarrassed. It’s one reason why it’s great to get the additional help sooner rather than later.” Young children are obviously more accepting and less judgmental, so it makes sense that younger ones wouldn’t see needing special help as a bad thing.

So what are some signs that you might want to get your child tested? “Every child is different, and we all know that,” one therapist explained to me, “But your doctor should be checking developmental markers for your kids during wellness visits. It can be as simple as talking to them about the criteria and how many of them your child is meeting.” It’s important to note that the smaller delays, the more questionable ones, might be the ones that can benefit most from early identification. These issues can hopefully be addressed and worked out before your child comes into kindergarten with problems that could put them behind.

One more important thing to remember? “Having a special needs child doesn’t mean you’ve done something wrong,” the coordinator told me. “Parents feel upset or they’re in denial, but they’re afraid that their child needs help because they didn’t do what they were supposed to, that’s not normally the case.” And as simple as it sounds, as much as we know that special needs is rarely caused by something a parent did or didn’t do, how true is it that parents’ first instinct is to blame ourselves. We question what we should’ve done differently.

This idea that we could control the outcome is another reason that parents often hesitate to get their children tested early. They’re afraid of feeling like they’ve failed. But the truth is that kids all just have different needs, and thankfully our public schools can help us address those needs early on, before they have a chance to hold kids back.

Another important distinction to make about these educational programs is that they are completely separate from medical diagnosis. Teachers and therapists do not suggest or prescribe medicine. They aren’t doctors or nurses. They look at a child’s development from a purely educational standpoint. I think a common dismissal of special needs testing, especially for the extremely young, is what I like to call the “ADD Defense.” After hearing for years about the over-diagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder and the over-medication of children who are thought to have this disorder, we assume that every early testing is aimed at doping up children to make them easier to handle.

That’s just completely false, especially when it comes to school programs. For early identification, it isn’t about controlling children. It’s about helping them. It helps them prepare for school and classrooms. It helps them address their problems early on, so they can focus on learning at their grade level once they reach general education. “The goal is always to move a child out of the special needs program,” one assistant said bluntly. That’s a goal that parents and educators should be able to agree on.

Early identification might be scary, but it’s also what’s best for your kids. It gets them the help they need and then lets them join their grade level prepared for the challenges ahead of them. Parents shouldn’t wait to see if their child grows out of it. They shouldn’t chalk it up to being “quiet” or “shy” if their little one isn’t speaking or expressing themselves. We need to proactive in our children’s education, and that means getting them resources as soon as possible.