When I came downstairs this morning I took one look at the toynado that was my living room and couldn’t take the mess a single second longer. I decided to clean up quickly before I made myself breakfast. My toddlers were high chair hostages, eating their own cereal with banana and failing miserably at using spoons, so I thought I could deal with the toys quickly. That was, of course, until I started clearing the rug and found several piles of hidden smashed goldfish treasures from the snack I thought they ate yesterday, but rather hid like squirrels preparing for hibernation.
I paused picking up to drag out the vacuum. And also the steam mop because undoing the childproof lock on the closet door takes forever, so I knew if I didn’t grab the mop now that wasn’t happening again anytime soon. Of course, my kids were done eating by this point and I could only keep them in their highchairs so long before I started to feel like a CIA interrogator, so I unleashed the Krackens, who promptly dumped out the toy bins I had just filled.
The boys momentarily distracted, I managed to wipe down the powder room and get the fingerprints off the door. Then I pressed my luck by running upstairs to wipe down the bathroom counter up there too. And that’s when I heard the vacuum turn on. As much as I wish fairy godmothers were real and wanted to believe this was mine coming to do my chores for me while I went for a pedicure, I knew that wasn’t the case, so I raced back downstairs where I found the boys giving each other hickeys with the vacuum hose.
I bribed them with ice pops, plopped them on a towel and tried to set a world record for Fastest Floor Cleaning. Floors 92% crumb free and mopped, I finally turned my attention to the toys. My fantasies for sorting them by type vanished and I settled for shoving them randomly into bins. Then I sat in front of the toy box with my laptop for work like a hockey goalie. I wish I could say it was a shutout, but I’d be lying.
Blogger Esther Anderson of Storyofthislife.com recently released a video that saves me the trouble of setting up cameras in my own home, but trust me when I say this is exactly how my morning went:
(image: Martin Novak/Shutterstock.com)