When Grandparents Attack: My Kids Are Full Of Sugary Crap
When it comes to grandparents, it’s all fun and games until someone loses their lunch. At least that’s what happened in my family several years back during a big Father’s Day celebration. We were all enjoying our buffet brunch at a fancy golf club â€“ eggs, toast, yogurt, waffles, the works â€“ and I noticed my dad sneaking my son, then 3, a cookie.
“No biggie,” I thought. Well, what I really thought was, “Ohmigod, he hasn’t yet taken a bite of his lunch and now my dad’s feeding him crap.” But I let it go because I get â€“ respect, even â€“ the fact that grandparents exist in this world to spoil their grandchildren.
My boy then moved on to a giant bowl of Grandpa-supplied ice cream topped with spoonfuls of Skor bars, Oreos, chocolate sprinkles. “Dad, c’mon,” I pleaded, but he pretended not to hear me.
I drew the line at Skittles.
“Dad, he’s totally wired and he’s going to get a stomachache. Please stop feeding him junk!” Not even two minutes later, my son looked up at me, all wide-eyed. “Mommy, I don’t feel well,” he uttered and then proceeded to vomit ALL OVER me, himself, the table and the (carpeted) floor.
My son was fine â€“ three minutes later he was running around with his cousins, happy as can be â€“ but I’ll never forget the look of horror on my father’s face. He was traumatized! And beyond guilty. I’m not even kidding when I say he called me that same day to apologize, again the next morning, and I think at every family function since (it’s been three years, by the way).
In fact, when he pops by for a visit these days, he’ll often pull me aside â€“ far away from the kids â€“ and get a very serious look in his eye. I panic, of course, thinking he’s about to share some horrible news, when really he’ll just come out with, “Is it okay if I take B. for an ice cream? A small one?”