Holidays
Cheatsgiving: What Your Favorite Thanksgiving Food Says About You
Sure sure, Thanksgiving is about gratitude and family, but it’s mostly about seeing how much food you can shove in your mouth to avoid making eye contact with family members. But your favorite Thanksgiving dish actually says a lot more about you and your role at the holidays than you realize…
Turkey
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You like to be in charge of everything; you’re like the Christian Grey of Thanksgiving. You definitely shouted “Don’t put the potatoes on the table yet!” like five times last year. Yes, you are the best at carving but you don’t need to remind everyone again this year. Ok fine, go ahead.
Gravy
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You showed up late again this year, even though Mom sent 8000 emails saying dinner was starting right at 1PM. You probably have a stain on your shirt but you DGAF.
Mashed potatoes
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You’re the peacekeeper of your family. You hold everything together at every holiday meal but underneath you’re hiding a deep dark secret only your internet friends know.
Stuffing
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You are kinky in bed and talk about it over the dinner table every year until your dad shouts “That’s enough, Karen!” a little too loud and everyone notices he’s had like, three gin and tonics.