Cheatsgiving: What Your Favorite Thanksgiving Food Says About You

Sure sure, Thanksgiving is about gratitude and family, but it’s mostly about seeing how much food you can shove in your mouth to avoid making eye contact with family members. But your favorite Thanksgiving dish actually says a lot more about you and your role at the holidays than you realize…




You like to be in charge of everything; you’re like the Christian Grey of Thanksgiving. You definitely shouted “Don’t put the potatoes on the table yet!” like five times last year. Yes, you are the best at carving but you don’t need to remind everyone again this year. Ok fine, go ahead.




You showed up late again this year, even though Mom sent 8000 emails saying dinner was starting right at 1PM. You probably have a stain on your shirt but you DGAF.

Mashed potatoes



You’re the peacekeeper of your family. You hold everything together at every holiday meal but underneath you’re hiding a deep dark secret only your internet friends know.




You are kinky in bed and talk about it over the dinner table every year until your dad shouts “That’s enough, Karen!” a little too loud and everyone notices he’s had like, three gin and tonics.

Pumpkin Pie

drinking vodka

You’re the one your cousins call, “Just so nice. Like for real nice, not fake nice.” You’re hiding a flask in your back pocket.

Apple Pie



Your family thinks you vote Republican but you secretly vote Democrat. You always end up trying to make out with that random friend with the tattoos Karen brings every year, in the room without heat where your mom does the laundry.


oprah crying


You act super tough and hate to hug your siblings, but cry every time you watch one of those videos where dogs freak out when their service men and women owners come home.

Green Bean Casserole



You’re the one everyone in the family goes to to complain about the others. You hate every single one of them and have blocked them all on Facebook.




You can’t believe you fucking agreed to show up this year, again.

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