What Your Baby’s Crib Says About You

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4. You have a crib from IKEA

Flimsy wooden pegs instead of screws and no actual directions on how to put it together. Once your baby hits her toddler years, you’ll be what they call “the fun parent”.

5. Your baby has a crib that can convert to a toddler bed and eventually a queen sized bed frame.

Spare me the story about how buying this behemoth is an “investment”. I’ve never heard of a bed surviving the rough and tumble elementary school years and making it all the way to a child’s adulthood. Even if it did, the thought of your child and their spouse getting down on the same bed where one of them once shat themselves may prevent you from ever having grandkids.

6. Your baby sleeps on a custom ordered circular crib

You know people will tell you that a crib which requires custom made sheets and a special mattress is extravangant, but you can’t hear those haters. You’re too busy making a mental list of all the things you’re going to buy your BFF Oprah for Christmas this year.


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