10 Things You Never Expected To Worry About Before You Had Kids

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Parents worry. It’s what we do. The worrying starts during pregnancy, and continues indefinitely, but the things Pregnant You predicts will keep you awake at night may not quite match up with the reality that you’ll be dealing with once you have a real live post-birth individual or two on your hands.

1. Expectation: I’ll worry about whether I’ll be able to hear the baby crying in his crib while I’m working in the kitchen.

crying guitar baby


Reality: I worry that there’s nowhere in the house where I can go to not hear screaming for five minutes on a bad teething day.

2. Expectation: I’ll worry about whether I’m doing a good enough job brushing the kids’ teeth.

shark attack


Reality: I worry about losing a finger while trying to perform rudimentary dental hygiene procedures.

3. Expectation: I’ll worry about whether they’re drinking enough milk.

simpsons clockwork orange bottle(via)

Reality: I worry about whether one of them will bludgeon the other one senseless with an empty sippy cup to steal one with a few drops of moo juice left in it.

4. Expectation: I’ll worry whether they’re eating a nutritious diet with the appropriate RDVs of each vitamin and mineral.

baby gorilla eating broccoli(via)

Reality: I worry whether they ate more than one or two fistfuls of dog hair today.

5. Expectation: I’ll worry that they’re not getting enough mental stimulation during the day.

bored sleepy baby(via)

Reality: I worry whether it’s possible for a baby to get too much mental stimulation, especially when provided by a complete toy percussion section. Or maybe what I’m really worrying is whether it’s possible for parents to get too much mental stimulation?

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