Pregnancy
What Pregnant Women Really Think About What Men Think About Their Pregnant Bodies
6. “Your stretched out, ‘amorphous blob’ of a pregnant body grosses me out.”
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The fact that no one has exiled you from civilized society yet grosses me out. As does my still-empty ice cream dish.
7. “It’s like there’s a third person in the room during sex.”
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Spoiler: THERE IS. No, I don’t mean the fetus. I’m talking about the physical embodiment of my disdain for your opinions about my body, which has been made manifest by its density and intensity. By the way, the physical embodiment of my disdain for your opinions about my body has a request: mint chocolate chip.
8. “Your body is capable of amazing things.”
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Except getting off the couch without assistance.
9. “It hurts to look at you.”
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I’M SO SORRY TO BE PUTTING YOU THROUGH THIS SUFFERING.
10. “You look like a fertility goddess.”
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You look like someone who needs to get his ass in the kitchen to get me a bowl of ice cream.
(Image: Blaj Gabriel/Shutterstock)
