Childrearing

9 Insane Things I Find In My Kids’ Bathroom

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5. Water Water Everywhere, And Not A Drop To Drink.

spit

 (Giphy)

This mess is one i have caught in the act of being made. Apparently, there is nothing a child loves more than to watch themselves spit water out of their mouths. This can be a slow dribble down the chin, or a quick spray that gets the faucet and mirror. I guess I should be glad they are easily entertained, but this seems like they are perhaps easily entertained on a diagnosable level.

6. The All Or Nothing Hand Soap.

soap

 (Giphy)

One of my fellow Mommyish writers said that her kid likes to pump out all of the hand soap when it’s filled up and it makes her crazy. My children’s hand soap, however, remains suspiciously full no matter how many times they swear up and down that they washed their hands with soap and water. It’s super gross, but I am so very tired. I’ll call the fact that it is in there, filled up, and not causing a mess as a win.

7. The Crusty Toothbrush of Lies.

tooth

(Giphy)

We’ve talked about rinsing off their toothbrushes after they’ve used them. Really, we have. I have discussed with my adorable liars how hard it makes it to brush your teeth when the bristles don’t bend. And yet, when I take a look at their toothbrushes, it appears that no water has ever even come close to touching those bristles. They say they understand, but their toothbrushes tell a different story. And that is a story of lies.

8. Just Gonna Drop That Wash Cloth Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight Here.

kanye

(Giphy)

It’s like hunting for Easter eggs when I go searching for wash cloths in my kids’ bathroom. Where will I find a damp, balled up wash cloth next? In the tub? Under the sink? Behind the door? Oh good, there a four back there! At least now I know.

9. Pee, You Wandered Into The Wrong Neighborhood.

chris

(Giphy)

How does urine end up on the floor behind a toilet? Behind it! Whatever is happening here, this one basic bathroom rule — that pee goes inside the toilet — shouldn’t need to include a rule that it also doesn’t go behind it.

In short, my kids’ bathroom is a disaster area where basic rules of etiquette, hygiene, and nature are routinely flaunted.

Man, I hate that place.

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