10 Things That Might Happen When You Trick-Or-Treat With A Toddler

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Taking a toddler trick-or-treating is not for the faint of heart. I did not bother until I had a preschooler and was forced to take her toddler brother with us. I had no desire to delve into that kind of shit-show until I had no choice. I know they look precious in their costumes but let’s face it- they have no idea what’s going on, they probably can’t eat a lot of the candy anyway (because, choking hazard) and they will likely lose interest pretty quickly. It seems like one of those things you do for you own benefit but when you really think about it, it’s basically torture and you are probably better off staying at home if you can. Here is a sampling of all that can go wrong when you trick-or-treat with a toddler.

1. They Lose A Shoe So You Have To Carry Them


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After a few blocks, you realize that your teeny Elsa is sans her left shoe and none too happy about it. A frantic search yields nothing and your older kids are getting antsy so now you have become her trick-or-treating chariot.

2. They Spill Their Candy Right At The End Of The Night


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This actually happened to us- the handle ripped on our son’s bag. Because our daughter is the sweetest child alive, she let him carry hers around for the last few houses and we salvaged what we could of his little disaster. I’m sure some birds enjoyed a stray Tootsie Roll or two that evening.

3. Someone Scares The Shit Out Of Them


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One year, our trick-or-treating ended after four houses because some asshole had a pretend goblin that popped out of a cauldron and scared the living shit out of our son.

4. They Throw A Fit When It’s Over/Because They Want It To Be Over


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Like many other outings with a toddler, they are either upset it’s ending or upset because it’s not ending soon enough and they are ready for bed.

5. They Have A Diaper Blow-Out 



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All that apple cider has come back to haunt you. Good luck getting the shit chunks out of that fluffy puppy costume!

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