What Your Halloween Candy Offering Says About You

I think we all have notions in our head dating back to childhood about what kind of person gives out what kind of treat for Halloween. You knew you could go to certain houses expecting certain things and those ideas still hold true today. There were neighborhoods (and houses) to avoid and ones to be sure to hit up for something awesome. You really tell the world something about you with the surprises you give out to trick-or-treaters. Please consult my handy guide to make sure you are projecting the desired image. Read on to find out what your Halloween candy offering says about you.

Full-Size Candy Bar

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Obviously, this means you are baller and money is no object. I can remember as a kid heading to the wealthier neighborhoods and hoping for the Holy Grail, aka, a giant Snickers bar. Jackpot.

Skittles And Star-Bursts

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You might be a dentist hoping for new business.

Werther’s Original

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You are 80 years old.


so old
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You are 90 years old.

Mini Snickers/Twix/Almond Joy

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You are a basic mom and clearly bought the giant assortment bag on one of your weekly Target pilgrimages.


Popcorn Balls

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You hate fun.

Mini Boxes Of Raisins

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You hate joy.


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Ugh, just don’t even bother. Seriously, just shut your porch light and watch TV.

Nutri-Grain Bars

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You are a poor planner and forgot to buy candy.

Protein Powder

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You are obsessed with fitness and probably no fun at all.

Anything Not Individually Wrapped

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You are probably the neighborhood creeper. I mean, who does that?

(Image: Christopher Elwell/Shutterstock)

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