What Dads Really Want For Father’s Day (Other Than Sexual Favors From The Wife)

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Father’s Day is just around the corner. Before you run out to purchase yet another striped tie or personalized golf ball, consider this: guys don’t want ’em (remember, ladies, it is no longer 1982).

We polled a bunch of modern dads to find out what’s truly on their wish list this Hallmark-holiday season. Read on to find out.

P.S. We took the liberty of deleting the dirty parts – you know, that intimate Father’s Day gift every man craves from the mother of his child. (Hint: it rhymes with shmow shmob.)