We’re Teen Wife Birthers: Show Us Courtney Alexis Stodden’s Long Form Birth Certificate

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Today at Mommyish, we’re all a bit puzzled by the news regarding 16-year-old Courtney Alexis Stodden marrying 51-year-old Lost star Doug Anthony Hutchinson. Courtney may be a model and Miss Teen USA contestant, but none of us are sold on the assumed fact that she’s actually 16. It’s not even about her rather enhanced-looking figure and heavy makeup necessarily, but more so the way she photographs. Unless she’s literally been living in a tanning bed since birth (which is always a possibility given her pageant history), we just can’t take the age claim seriously.

The editors and I consider Courtney’s age in the conversation below:

Meghan Keane: i think her mother’s reactions are VERY interesting

Mollie Hemingway: they are

Mollie Hemingway: I’m convinced this is a 100% publicity stunt

Mollie Hemingway: she says her daughter was a virgin when she got married

Mollie Hemingway: and her dad says he’s the nicest guy in the world

Mollie Hemingway: that girl looks like 16 going on 37

Koa Beck: yeah, she sure doesn’t look 16

Mollie Hemingway: but she was in the Miss Teen Usa pageant last year, I guess. I would have eaten my sock that she was my age

Mollie Hemingway: I mean, that’s ku-razy

Mollie Hemingway: also, her mom says those breasts only look like they are made of plastic but that God himself gave her plasticy breasts that are real

Koa Beck: goodness

shawna cohen: i just think these moms are all the same: botox mom, boob job mom, this mom… their job should be to PROTECT their children, not use them for their 15 minutes of fame. this latest incident is obv different from first two (we’re talking about a teenager here vs a 7- or 8-yr-old) but it’s all just so disturbing to me.

Koa Beck: there is no way this girl is 16

Koa Beck: unless she’s been living in a tanning bed

Mollie Hemingway: she was in the Miss Teen USA pageant last year. I demand a long-form birth certificate

Koa Beck: indeed

Mollie Hemingway: I’m a teen-wife birther!

Koa Beck: haha!

Mollie Hemingway: I actually got all uppity with this reporter on Twitter for saying she was 16. I was like “She might have a 16-year-old, but ain’t no way she’s 16.” And he’s the one who pointed out she competed last year in Miss Teen USA. Something fishy. VERY FISHY.

Meghan Keane: she acts very young in that video

Mollie Hemingway: actually, some of her pics do look young — almost like it’s a different person

Mollie Hemingway: WAIT ….

Mollie Hemingway: I’m going full-on birther now

Mollie Hemingway: I want to prove that some pics are her

Mollie Hemingway: and some aren’t her — perhaps they are of her mom?

Koa Beck: right!!

Mollie Hemingway: how does Kenya fit into all of this?

Whether you buy the claims that teenage Courtney is actually 16 is irrelevant given the actions by her parents. Touting their daughter’s prenuptial virginity and good Christian values as counter arguments to their daughter’s sex appeal place them in the long line of exploitative and ultimately child-abusing parents in show business. Shielded by the guise of the entertainment industry, their parental choices are justified by their dedication to their daughter’s career and therefore can’t be dragged before a judge the way conventional child abuse can.

As for the girl’s age, if the public can convince President Obama to reveal his birth certificate, we think we can exert a little pressure on Ms. Stodden to go public with Alexis’s. Until then, we’re going to maintain that this is the best publicity stunt a 34-year-old bride ever dreamed up.