8 Ways Having A Toddler Is Like Being A Cocktail Waitress

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5. You’re filthy by the end of the night.



Whether it was a night waiting tables or a day with my kids, but the end I’m covered in unidentified fluids, sweaty and desperate for a long, hot shower.

6. People are constantly trying to get your attention.



Not just for things they need, like refills or a fresh diaper, but just for the joy of having someone watch them. Whether it’s adults arm wrestling each other or toddlers trying to dive off the couch, it’s all to get you to notice them.

7. The tips are spotty.

money baby


When I served drinks, some nights I earned more than others. Raising a toddler is the same way. One day they’re all about the hugs and kisses, the next they don’t even want you to look at them.

8. Your back always hurts.





(Image: auremar/

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