War On Christmas Week: 2014’s Weirdest Stolen Baby Jesus Stories

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We’re celebrating War on Christmas Week at Mommyish! See our previous posts here.

This week on Mommyish we’re digging into the War On Christmas, which has almost become a holiday of its own. Every winter there’s a slew of created controversy about how the right and wrong ways we celebrate Christmas, and how people are attacking and destroying it. A lot of times the stories are silly, meant to get people worked up over nothing. (Really, people are made over a holiday sweater that celebrates all religions? Cool, cool. Seems like a totally reasonable thing to freak out about.)

But there does seem to be a very real issue that repeats itself every year: The stealing of Baby Jesuses across out fair land. It’s gotten so bad that a security firm is giving churches and non-profit organizations GPS trackers to monitor their Baby Jesuses. Here are some of 2014’s weirdest Baby Jesus-jacking stories.

1. A happy ending! 


Let’s start on a positive note, with this story out of an actual Canadian town called Moose Jaw. Thieves stole a baby jesus from a family’s nativity scene three years ago, and then returned it with an apology and a Tim Horton’s gift card. Nothing says “we’re sorry about Jesus-stealing” than good ol’ Canadian coffee! They wrote:

“So not really sure how to explain this to you … Three years ago we were severely intoxicated (17 and 19 years old). We thought it would be absolutely hilarious to steal your baby Jesus and lamb from your nativity scene. Now 20 and 21 years old, we thought we’d return it after stumbling upon it in the garage…we pray you’re not terribly upset with us. We just wanted to return (the items) to the rightful owner.”

2. Baby (Jesus) Got Back

jesus-is-returned - cedarville-ohio


In Cedarville, Ohio, thieves stole a baby Jesus from a church’s nativity scene. He was returned a week later, earning this Jesus-y shout out.

3. Blame bad self esteem



Edina, Missouri’s local police officer blamed poor self-esteem for her town’s missing Jesus, swiped from in front of a bank. LaVerne Pulse said of the robbers, “Doesn’t respect the meaning of Christmas, and that individual or individuals probably have little self esteem themselves or they wouldn’t have done this.”

The police chief is going through video footage to see if she can pinpoint the culprit, who is probably writing in their journal about how much they hate themselves right now.

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