Leave a Spot Open on Your Christmas List for a Pair of Vagina Slippers

It’s that time of year, when people are on the hunt for that perfect holiday gift for the hard-to-shop-for person on their list. You can always go easy with a gift card, but where’s the fun in that? You want a gift that will be memorable, but functional. Something the recipient will open and exclaim, “It’s perfect!” If you’re looking for such a gift, might we suggest a dashing pair of vagina slippers?

Vagina slippers are exactly what they sound like, and look exactly like you’d expect them to look.

vagina slippers
Image: Etsy / HappyUnderwearGifts

The heavy-duty socks are handmade by Etsy shop HappyUnderwearGifts. They’re knitted using acrylic and wool yarn. The soles are made of thick felt, so they can be worn as slippers. And yes, they are topped with knitted vulvas. What’s not to love, honestly. Put these on, let your feet bathe in the warmth of your vagina slippers, and be reminded that vaginas are awesome every time you glance at your feet.

Maybe vaginas aren’t their thing? Maybe you’re looking for more of a … manly … pair of slippers. Well, don’t fret. They’ve got something for everyone.

vagina slippers
Image: Etsy / HappyUnderwearGifts

Perhaps a pair of cock and balls slippers? Imagine that little fella just bouncing around with each step.

vagina slippers
Image: Etsy / HappyUnderwearGifts

Or how about some boob slippers? You know the saying, wear your heart on your sleeve? Well, now you can wear your tits on your feet.

Pretty much every item in this shop is perfection, and you can just go down your list and get something for everyone. We’ve all heard of ugly Christmas sweaters. But what about knitted Christmas boxers? OH YES.

Really gives new meaning to the song, “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”. Why exactly was his nose so shiny?

vagina slippers
Image: Etsy / HappyUnderwearGifts

While we wouldn’t recommend vagina slippers for your kid’s teacher, we KNOW there’s someone on your list who will love a pair. And don’t forget the appropriately inappropriate wrapping paper!

Also read: 20 Totally Badass Tattoos Perfect For Any Feminist

(Image: Etsy/HappyUnderwearGifts)

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