during pregnancy

The Last Thing You Need When You’re Pregnant Is Pressure To Choose A Family Name

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What sucked most about being pregnant for me was everyone breathing down my neck. Maybe you could call this kindness or general interest, but my pregnancy hormones called it LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE AND LET ME GROW A BABY IN PEACE.

I was a pretty ragey pregnant lady, though I suspect I’m not alone in this. Every pregnant woman on every pregnant lady website loves to bitch about how people can’t respect the boundaries of a woman gestating another human being. Unsolicited advice on what to eat, what to wear, where and how to give birth, and the list goes on.

The last thing a pregnant lady needs is stupid pressure about something that is personal and hardly anyone’s business. I’m talking names. On a previous thread about stealing baby names, I discovered that most couples keep their baby name a secret, not because they are vain but because they don’t want people to poo-poo their choice. Makes sense to me.

It blows my mind how people make everything about your pregnancy their business. A fairly important matter like choosing a baby name is subjective and should exclusively be a couple’s decision. While that makes sense to most, there are some families with strong ties and rich history that just won’t leave well enough alone.

I’ve heard from several friends about a growing pressure to use family baby names. While I appreciate the sentiment to honor a beloved grandmother or a great-great-great aunt that immigrated to the US, I still can’t get on board with it.

I took great pleasure in choosing my kids’ names. I pored over baby name websites and compared my top choices. I made my selection solely based on sound and feeling. I liked the way my kids’ names sounded and the way I felt when I pictured them in our family: Elliott and Jonah.

I was fortunate because none of my relatives tried to push a family name on me. We would have had words if they did. If you chose a family name for your baby based on your own free will, good for you. If you’re feeling pressured to use a family name that isn’t your first choice, it’s time to stick up for yourself.

(Image: Jiri Hera/Shutterstock)