Uranus Is Basically a Ball of Farts and Once Your Kids Find Out, You’ll Never Hear the End of It
Is there anything greater than a fart joke when you’re a kid? At some point, every kid in the world becomes obsessed with farts. Making fart noises, cracking fart jokes, even cutting the cheese in public for a laugh or horrified look or two. And then, when they get a little older and learn about the planets, a whole new world of fart jokes opens up. Butts are funny, sure. But Uranus? UR-ANUS? Fucking brilliant to the tween and teen set. OK, it’s pretty funny even when you’re an adult. But now, a new study is, uh, blowing Uranus up. And the findings are good for like, 200 more years of fart jokes.
Please, for a moment, imagine the glee on your child’s face when they learn that Uranus smells like … farts. And admit it, you just giggled a bit, didn’t you?
Patrick Irwin is a scientist at Oxford University who co-authored the study. According to Irwin, “If an unfortunate human were ever to descend through Uranusâ€™s clouds, they would be met with very unpleasant and odiferous conditions.” That’s because Uranus’s upper atmosphere is made up almost entirely of hydrogen sulphide. And hydrogen sulphide is the compound that gives farts their pungent stench.
Uranus (lol) is essentially sitting within a cloud of farts.
In case you’re wondering what it would be like to live in a fart cloud (and you aren’t married or don’t have kids), we’ll just have to guess. Uranus is uninhabitable, and we’d die of suffocation before our olfactories could be assaulted by the ass gas. Says Irwin, “Suffocation and exposure in the -200 degrees Celsius atmosphere made of mostly hydrogen, helium and methane would take its toll long before the smell.”
I just told my oldest that Uranus is made of farts and she laughed so hard that she actually tooted. So. It’s good stuff, guys.