during pregnancy

On The Inside, We Are All Afraid Of Having An Ugly Baby

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During your first pregnancy, there are so many fears. What if I eat the wrong thing and cause some kind of damage to my baby? What if I exercise too much or too little? What if I go into labor early and am not prepared for the baby? What if my baby is UGLY?

This last fear is incredibly common, but it is the fear of which we do not speak because of an even greater fear of being judged. Awesome Mommyish contributor Megan Zander put it best:

I was always afraid of having unattractive kids- I know, I’m shallow, I own that. When I was in high school my BFF and I would joke that when we had kids, we would be honest and tell the other if the kid was ugly and then make them a nice room under the stairs like Harry Potter.

If she’s shallow, then I am too. Yes, I always said the expected line that all I wanted was a healthy baby, and then I would murmur under my breath, “And make it a cute baby too!”

The good thing about parenting is that you will probably think your ugly baby is cute. That must be biology or something so that you don’t eat your young out of frustration and disappointment. Yet there is always the paranoia that Megan spoke of in not knowing that your baby is full-on ugly, and everyone else whispers about it behind your back.

I will admit that my first son had a bit of a “rough stage” as a baby. My husband and I both thought he was the most beautiful creation ever to shoot out of my loins, but in the first year of his life, he had some pretty rowdy eczema. Now he’s grown into an ultra-adorable toddler. Like, he’s really good at being a cute toddler.

Every parent is afraid of having an ugly baby, even if they are not brave enough to say it out loud. Every parent is even more afraid of not knowing that they have an ugly baby, which may be why so many new parents barrage Facebook with puffy newborn photos to seek reassurance.

Not all babies are born cute, and that’s just a fact of life. I think in this moral dilemma, ignorance is bliss. If anyone thought my babies were ugly, I wouldn’t want to know. And I will return the favor by “liking” any fugly babies that I see on my Facebook feed in the future. Their parents will never be the wiser.

(Image: ajkkafe/Shutterstock)