Childrearing

The 8 Types Of Parents You’ll Meet At The Gym

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1. The gunners

shark chasing swimmers(via)

These people aren’t aware that you can’t “win” at swim lessons or Mommy & Me yoga. They need all the instructor attention, all the space, and all the practice time so that their little one has a shot at that prestigious Zumba scholarship.

2. The special snowflakes, subtype A (Rulebreakicus maximus)

flounder little mermaid(via)

The minimum age to safely use the stationery bikes, treadmills, and free weights is irrelevant: they paid for a family membership so they will damn well bring their kids into the fitness center if they want to!

3. The special snowflakes, subtype B (Showoffina spotlightica)

giphy(via)

Oh, is your child learning to put his face in the water? That’s sweet. Their son knows how to do flip turns, has a perfect butterfly stroke, and is currently perfecting his high dive technique. But the face-water thing is, you know, cute. I guess.

4. The plague carriers

diving into toilet(via)

No one expects kids with a touch of the sniffles to get banned from day care at the gym. But then there are a subset of parents who are happy to throw their glassy-eyed, shivering offspring at the poor overloaded caregivers, because god forbid you miss a week of Bodypump.

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