The 8 Types Of Parents You’ll Meet At The Gym
1. The gunners
These people aren’t aware that you can’t “win” at swim lessons or Mommy & Me yoga. They need all the instructor attention, all the space, and all the practice time so that their little one has a shot at that prestigious Zumba scholarship.
2. The special snowflakes, subtype A (Rulebreakicus maximus)
The minimum age to safely use the stationery bikes, treadmills, and free weights is irrelevant: they paid for a family membership so they will damn well bring their kids into the fitness center if they want to!
3. The special snowflakes, subtype B (Showoffina spotlightica)
Oh, is your child learning to put his face in the water? That’s sweet. Their son knows how to do flip turns, has a perfect butterfly stroke, and is currently perfecting his high dive technique. But the face-water thing is, you know, cute. I guess.
4. The plague carriers
No one expects kids with a touch of the sniffles to get banned from day care at the gym. But then there are a subset of parents who are happy to throw their glassy-eyed, shivering offspring at the poor overloaded caregivers, because god forbid you miss a week of Bodypump.