being a mom

8 Types Of Mommy Bloggers You’ll Find On The Internet

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Mommy bloggers are everywhere today. What was once unfairly considered “just a hobby” for “bored SAHMs” is now almost ubiquitous. Which is a great thing. But, as with all great things, you gotta take the good with the bad. We’re all different, with our own techniques and beliefs, which makes parenting writing a wide and varied field. There are probably as many different types of mommy bloggers as there are stars in the sky, but I’ve broken it down to the eight most common ones that I see. Some are awesome (*cough* Mommyish* cough*), while others are downright strange. But in the end we’re all here trying to do the same thing; talk about our lives so other moms don’t feel so alone.

8. The “My life is perfect” mom

This type of blogger has a perfect life, or at least that’s what she wants you to think. Her babies immediately slept through the night, her marriage is perfect and she just hates all those “lazy moms” who wear yoga pants to the grocery store. Think Marcia Brady, all grown up.

7. The “Slacker and proud” mom

I’ll be the first to admit it, this is usually me. This type of mommy blogger is usually balancing the fine line between free-range and outright neglect. Not neglect of the kids, mind you, but of pretty much everything else. Who needs to do the dishes when there are baby feet to play with, amirite?

6. “Fire and brimstone” mom

I like to call this type of mommy blogger the “Shirley Phelps” mom, for obvious reasons. This mom devotes each and every post to how awful and worldly society is and how everyone except her and her kind are going to hell. Oh, and the occasional cookie recipe. Just for fun.

5. The “Pinterest perfection” mom

Would calling this type of mommy blogger “The Martha Stewart“ be an outdated reference? Well I’m using it anyway. This kind of mommy blogger is similar to the “my life is perfect” type, except she focuses less on her actual family and more on how freaking amazing she is at everything. DIY curtains? You know she got that on lock down. Homemade, organic, freshly grown food for dinner every night? Duh, what is she, a plebe?

4. The “Everything is a crusade” mom

There are a number of kinds of mommy bloggers that fall under this category. The only quality you need to be a crusader mom is an immense, unwavering opinion about something and little need for things like facts and/or science if they don’t back up this opinion. This is common with anti-vaxxers, PETA militants and certain pro-lifers, but you can be a douche about almost anything.

3. The “Know-it-all” mom

Often called the sanctimommy, this type of mommy blogger thinks she’s an expert on literally everything. Giving out untested, questionable medical advice? Who cares if she doesn’t have a medical degree, she’s a MOM you guys! And if you dare to disagree with her, then hell hath no fury like a sanctimommy scorned. She will have no problem telling you how sorry she feels for your children and how CPS should be showing up any minute.

2. The “Whiny wahhhhhmbulance” mom

Truth be told, I think we are all this mom on occasion. The beauty of parenting writing is that it pulls back the veil of motherhood (and fatherhood for you daddy readers) so we can all feel a little less alone. But this type of blogger takes it to the extreme. As Blair Koenig from STFU Parents calls them, the Woe is Mom is the type of writer who solely focuses on the negative aspects of her life. And it absolutely must be worse than anyone else. There is a fine line between keeping it real and fishing for sympathy, and this mom crosses it every time.

1. The “Snarky” mom (aka Mommyish)

snarky mom meme

Here at Mommyish, we love us some snark. Some people love us for it, some people hate it, but it’s how we roll. And we’re certainly not alone. This type of mommy blogger, who I’ve decided to call the “Eve Vawter Snarknado” deals with life’s little trials and tribulations with a dash of humor and a pound of sarcasm and we wouldn’t want her any other way.