The Problem With Telling The ‘Truth’ About Pregnancy

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8. You get shooting “zinger” pains in your cervix. Somewhere around four or five months, you’ll feel these electric zaps shooting up into your vagina. The first time it happened to me, I fell to my knees and called my neighbor who was a nurse. The pain subsided in about two minutes. Apparently, this is normal. Prolonged pain, however, can be dangerous. Distinguish between the two!

What?!?!? Zinger pains? In my cervix? What’s a zinger pain? Electric zaps shooting up my vagina? Um, no! Never had those! Eww. That’s so weird! I’ve never heard of that. Is that really a thing?

Of course I know it’s hypocritical to get all grossed out by these overshares when I’m the one who described my deflated post-partum breasts in detail. The human body works in amazing ways, it knows what to do, it’s a phenomenal vessel, all these changes should be celebrated – I actually believe all that. I also reserve the right to think something that phenomenal vessel does is yucky.

But I refuse to go as far as Snooki’s recent statement that “pregnancy is disgusting.” Although I completely respect everyone’s opinion on their own gestational period, I couldn’t fathom using the word disgusting. Unpleasant, uncomfortable, challenging – sure! It doesn’t have to be all beauty, glow, and miracle. But disgusting? Pregnancy as a whole isn’t disgusting, even if there are aspects that are…bizarre. It annoyed me, but then I remembered it was Snooki and I moved on.

I realized in the comments on my post-partum body piece, as well as in real life, when you are committed to baring it all, you realize some admissions are going to be crowd favorites and some are going to get you a screwed-up HUH? face in response. I am completely comfortable with people being grossed out by my stories, but I do it for the ones who can relate.

After I navigated the steep learning curve of first-time motherhood, I vowed to tell anyone who would listen about pregnancy, childbirth, and newborn life. I lived for the moments of recognition I would see on another mother’s face when she said “yes, that too!” I was happy to comfort a friend by sharing my struggles in intimate situations. My intention isn’t to scare off the future parents of the world and I apologize if I offend anyone. I simply remain committed to spreading “the truth.” Maybe I’ll just save it for after you’ve digested your lunch.

(photo: imagelab/Shutterstock)

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