being a mom

It Doesn’t Matter How Against Toy Guns You Are Because Everything Is A Gun

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127999253Whether to not you let your kids play with toy guns is a HOT TOPIC ON MOMMYISHâ„¢. I AM NOT SURE WHY I HAVE TRADEMARKED THIS. But anyway, parents have VERY PASSIONATE (â„¢?) feeeeeeeligs about this topic and no matter what side you are on, PRO TOY GUN or ANTI TOY GUN I am here to tell you it doesn’t matter. Why? Because as a mom who has raised many a chile’ I am here to tell you no matter how anti-gun you are, your kids will turn anything into a damn gun anyway.

With Christmas fast approaching, you may be contemplating whether or not to buy your kid a squirt gun or a Nerf gun or a toy gun, even those of you out there who are extremely anti-real-gun. Even though I’m not a fan of real guns for me, toy guns that shoot toy darts don’t brother me because I know that almost anything can be used as a gun. Here are things that my children have turned into guns, complete with the bang bang pow you’re dead sound effects.

A carrot 

(Image: getty images)

(Image: getty images)

You think you are creating your kid a delicious, healthy snack and the next thing you know they are pointing it at their sister and shooting her for asking for someone to pass the hummus.

A hairbrush 

(Image: Getty Images)

(Image: Getty Images)

Excellent for removing tangles and pretending to shoot someone in the damn face.

A comb 

(Images: getty Images)

(Images: getty Images)

Excellent for being a gun when your mom confiscates the gun brush after you get busted for attempting to shoot someone in the damn face with it.

A toothbrush

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See above.

A stick 

(Images: getty Images)

(Images: getty Images)

Nature’s gun.

A Doll 

(Image: getty Images)

(Image: getty Images)

 I have seen many a doll used as a weapon.

A spoon

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(Image: getty images)

Basically, any piece of flatware, including straws and sporks.

A tampon 

(Image: getty images)

(Image: getty images)

If you have kids of a certain age and you share a bathroom with them and you had vowed to never buy them toy guns because they are against your principals you will one day hear them happily playing in their bedroom saying BANG BANG I SHOT YOU only to discover your personal feminine protection is being used as a firearm. Don’t ask me how I know this.

The cat

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The cat is not a cat because you can take its paws and say pow pow pow it’s a cat gun.

 Their finger 

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Trust me, this one is hard to confiscate.

So even though I’m not crazy about guns and real guns concern me and I don’t plan on buying my kids an actual gun that shoots even BBs, I can pretty much guarantee that if my kids wanna play cops and robbers, something will be used as a gun.

(Image: getty images)