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Toddlers & Tiaras’ Eden Wood ‘Retires’ From Pageant Circuit At Age Six

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It’s hard work being a beauty queen. You know, what with the constant make-up application. Not to mention all those fake eyelashes and crazy up-dos. There’s teeth whitening. Spray tans. Botox. Plus, schlepping around all those glittery tiaras can be a real pain the ass. Which perhaps explains why six-year-old Eden Wood, the winner of more than 300 titles and a regular on Toddlers & Tiaras, is calling it quits. (Talk about early retirement!)

But, alas, she won’t be playing shuffle board in Miami any time soon. Eden’s mom-slash-manager Micki Wood told Good Morning America that her daughter’s ready to move on to bigger and better. That would involve building an empire that already includes an Eden showgirl action figure, an “Eden Wood Princess Canopy Bed Collection” and a memoir called From Cradle to Crown – all available on Eden’s official website. She’ll also headline the “Eden Wood and the Glamour Girls” tour of Midwestern shopping malls, and she’ll perform new songs from her upcoming album (her first single, “Cutie Patootie,” contains some questionable lyrics including “Rockin’ out the pageant stage and shakin’ my booty!/Cutie, Cutie Patootie”).

Can anyone say disturbing?! She is six years old, for chrissake! Who writes a memoir at age six? (Even Drew Barrymore waited ’til she was 15 to pen her bio, Little Girl Lost.) But, beyond all that, what kind of mom pushes her little girl to pursue fame at such a young age? That question must’ve been on the mind of the Good Morning America reporter who asked Micki if perhaps she’s overly focused on her daughter becoming famous? “No. So much of her life has nothing to do with that,” she responded. “As long as she enjoys what we’re doing and what she’s doing, Mama’s going to keep doing it…Why not see if we can’t have a Hollywood contract? A reality show? A spot on a Disney program? Why not? It’s the American Dream. It’s almost like her destiny.”

Sorry, Micki, would that be Eden’s destiny or yours?

(Photo: facebook.com)

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