10 Thoughts You Will Have At The Pediatrician’s Office

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Ah, the pediatrician’s office. I just took my daughter for her seven-year well-child check last week and all is well, thankfully. However, it occurred to me while we were there (for over two hours…with both kids…don’t get me started) that mentally, I go through the same motions every single time. I have never been very good with doctors and medical stuff so I always have a bit of anxiety, even if nothing is wrong with my kid. I just sit there shifting nervous thoughts around in my brain until we get our clean bill of health and make a break for it. It got me wondering if I am the only one that goes through this mental roller-coaster at every single visit:

1. How long will we be stuck in this waiting room?

britney waiting

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Why do doctors even bother setting up appointments when you never get taken in on time? If you are alone, fine. But with the kids? The waiting room becomes the seventh circle of hell.

2. Are their growth percentiles normal? 

nervous andy

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Once we go into the first room with nurse to be measured and weighed, I start my inner panic. What if they didn’t grow much since last year? What if they somehow LOST weight? Are you guys getting a taste of my brand of Crazy yet? No? Let’s keep going.

3. How long will we be stuck in this exam room waiting for the doctor?

the end

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The secondary exam room is the biggest tease ever. You think you are on your way to being done but it’s only just beginning. Last week, we spent a solid HOUR waiting for the doctor to come in. That was fun.

4. How dangerous is it exactly for them to touch everything in this room?

don't touch

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After 30 minutes, I’ve given up stopping my 5-year old from opening the drawers and peeping under the exam table. I’m fresh out of shits to give.

5. The doctor definitely thinks less of me when my kid says their favorite food is Fritos.

ariel facepalm

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The doctor finally comes in and starts grilling the kid about their diet and health habits. Despite my religious use of vegetables in meals, they always name a junk food when asked what is their favorite. Thanks, kid.

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