10 Things You Won’t Believe Your Kid Is Telling Their Kindergarten Teacher

I have a close family member that has taught kindergarten for several years. Her stories are a highlight of our family parties and the hilarious (and embarrassing) things her young students share with her never disappoint. The moral of the story for those of us in my family with kids has always been to be careful what we say and do in front of our little ones because they are probably listening a lot more closely than we think. The idea of my kids possibly repeating things to their teachers definitely tempers my reactions sometimes. Who needs those worries at the parent/teacher conference? See below for her true kindergarten tales- 10 things you won’t believe your kid is telling their kindergarten teacher:

1. Hide Your Anger At The Teacher


“I told my Mommy that you said I needed more food in my lunch and she yelled JESUS CHRIST! Is she kidding?!”

2. At Least Let Them Help


Teacher: “Nice job on your art project, Johnny!”

Johnny: “Thanks but my mom’s the one who made it!”

3. Just Tell Them It’s Biotin

face palm

“My mom takes a vitamin every morning so she doesn’t have anymore babies!”

4. An Image Teacher Can’t Wipe From Her Brain


“The other day, I tried to get into my Mommy and Daddy’s room but it was locked and Daddy yelled WE’LL BE RIGHT OUT! GO AWAY!”

5. F Is For Funny…Right?


“When my parents fight, they say the F word to each other!”

6. This Is Just Sad


“My Daddy took away my Mommy’s car keys as her punishment.”

7. Time To Stop Being Naked In Front Of Them


“I want to have long boobies someday. Just like my mommy.”

8. If You Send Them In Sick, They Will Tell


“I threw up this morning so my mom told me not to eat anything here because she has a class and can’t come get me.”

9. Seriously- They Always Tell


“I was sick yesterday so I have extra underwear in my bag because if I fart, poop will probably come out like it did yesterday!”

10. Keep Common Core Opinions To Yourself


“My mom says you give me too much homework!”

(GIF’s: Giphy)

(Image: Monkey Business Images/Shutterstock)

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