Childrearing
8 Things Toddlers Do That Would Get An Adult Arrested
1. Stalking
If you woke up in the middle of the night to find someone who doesn’t belong in your bedroom standing over you, your first instinct may be to reach for a baseball bat or call 911. But when your toddler does it, you just scoot over to give him space to lay down.
2. Flashing
This past weekend at the children’s museum my son decided to drop trou for no discernible reason. If he was a grown up, every parent in the place would tell their child to stay away from him. Instead all the moms around laughed with me and I debated the merits of posting a picture on Facebook (I didn’t).
3. Assault
When you’re an adult, creating the fear of imminent bodily harm in another person can be enough to get to a set of shiny mental bracelets. But intimidating others is how toddlers establish who stands where when forming a line for the slide.
4. Disorderly Conduct
When a grown up has a temper tantrum and won’t calm down, we handcuff them. When a toddler does the same thing, we offer him cookies.