12 People Who Will Annoy The Sh*t Out Of You When You’re Pregnant
Everyone says that pregnant women are moody. I think that’s a load of crap. I think pregnant women are subjected to a landslide of annoying comments for nine months, driving them to respond in a bitchy manner. There is no choice. The most patient person on the planet would get annoyed by being constantly pawed at and offered advice, wouldn’t she? I think so.
If you see a pregnant woman who looks vexed, it’s probably because she’s just had a run in with one of the following people.
1. The person who offers opinions about your baby name.
“Jane? Really? I have a co-worker named Jane and she is the absolute worst.”
2. The person who tries to touch your belly.
“Oh wow! Look how big you are! You don’t mind that my hands are cradling your belly, uncomfortably close to your vagina, do you?”
3. The person who insists you will do x/y/z once you become a parent.
“Oh, you say that now — but just wait! Everything changes once you have a child!”
4. The person who buys you pregnancy exercise videos.
“I thought you would enjoy this! I mean, Gisele looks amazing so I’m sure you want to follow her lead!”
5. The person who monitors your alcohol intake.
“No, waiter. We’ll only need three glasses for the table. She’s pregnant!”
6. The person who monitors your diet.
“Are you sure it’s safe to eat your meat cooked that way? Is that cheese pasteurized? Doesn’t Caesar dressing have raw egg in it?”
7. The person who monitors your caffeine intake.
“Is that decaf? Are you sure?”
8. The person who says “Any day now!”
“Actually, I’m only seven months pregnant.”
9. The person who says, “Wow! Must be twins!”
There are no words for these idiots.
10. The person who doesn’t get up on the subway.
He’s pretending he doesn’t see you. He does.
11. The person who reminds you that you soon won’t be getting any sleep.
“You better nap now! Soon you won’t be sleeping at all. AT ALL. Ever.”
12. The person who knocked you up.
It’s unavoidable.
(photo: Piotr Marcinski/ Shutterstock)
