10 Completely Random Things Idiots Love To Compare To Public Breastfeeding

annoyed-womanPeople who get offended by public breastfeeding amuse me. It’s so strange that they can’t grasp the concept of looking away. They act like breastfeeding mothers come and straddle their laps, whip out their boobs, and hang out. It’s bizarre.

After years of writing about mothers being shamed in public I’ve gotten very used to people making absurd analogies to explain why public breastfeeding is just not okay in their eyes. But never have I seen so many ridiculous comments in one place as I did today when I stumbled across an old HuffPost article about a mother shamed for breastfeeding her 16-day-old infant at a recreation center. Those pesky newborns! Always getting hungry in the most inappropriate places!

The following comments are real. These people actually think the following things are exactly like breastfeeding. Wow.

1. Pooping.poop-breastfeeding

Yes Fred, taking a shit in public is totally the same thing as breastfeeding a child. Oh, wait — no it’s not. It’s illegal. And disgusting.

2. Changing a maxi-pad.

maxi-pad-breastfeeding

What?

3. Sex.

sex-breastfeeding

Yup, some people have just not grown up enough to know the difference between feeding a baby and having sex in a public place.

4. Smoking cigarettes.

Screen Shot 2015-01-05 at 11.00.10 AM

Yeah, only there’s no such thing as “secondhand” breast milk. In no way is your health being impacted by this woman’s decision to feed her baby. I can’t believe that even needs to be said.

5. Making out.Screen Shot 2015-01-05 at 10.57.16 AM

This is just weird. There’s nothing wrong with either of these things.

6. Public urination.

Screen Shot 2015-01-05 at 10.56.32 AM

Dude, if you can find a bucket laying around, go ahead and pee in it. But it’s illegal, so good luck with that.

7. Farting in an elevator.Screen Shot 2015-01-05 at 10.55.27 AM

I don’t even know where to go with this.

8. Dropping your pants in public.

Screen Shot 2015-01-05 at 10.54.29 AM

Dudes looooooove this analogy.

9. “Whipping out” a penis.

Screen Shot 2015-01-05 at 11.18.28 AM

Nope, Russell — it’s not. Unlike breastfeeding, it’s illegal.

10. Being a creepy weirdo.

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…?

(photo: pathdoc/ Shutterstock)

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