10 Things All Parents Dread About Spring

I know, I know — I whined about winter and now, I’m whining about spring. I am basically the worst and you’re all stuck with me, sorry about that. I do happen to love spring in theory but there are certain elements of it that I do not look forward to as a parent and just like I aired my grievances about winter, I plan to do the same now that I’m surrounded by sunshine and chirping birdies. Nothing will stop my complaining instincts. Nothing.

1. Mud

(via)

Oh God, the fricking mud. I live in a place with multiple feet of snowfall every winter and when it melts, it’s basically a weeks’ long mud slide. Of course, when it’s warm out, the kids want to be outside so it becomes an hour of me yelping “STAY OUT OF THE MUD PLEASE.” Serenity now.

2. Broken Toys From Last Year

(via)

It’s been so long since last summer you forgot that Junior’s bike tire is deflated and that the handlebar is loose on someone’s scooter. But it’s nice out and everyone wants to plaaaaay so let the whining commence.

3. Bugs And “Flowers” In Your House

(via)

In spring, I usually have a windowsill full of paper cups with various plant and insect specimens in them. We release all bugs at nightfall but the “flowers” remain. And by flowers, I definitely mean weeds with teeny ants crawling on them. FESTIVE.

4. Last Year’s Clothes Won’t Fit

(via)

Do anyone else’s kids freak out about finally getting to wear shorts the moment it hits 70 degrees? Mine start riffling through their stuff from last year only to find it’s all a size too small, so either I have to shop, or my front yard looks like a scene from Studio 54 with little people running around in what amount to hot pants.

5. No More Yelling

(via)

Ah, one of the few perks of winter. Closed windows so I can holler when my kids act a fool. Now that the windows are open, I sound like a pre-school teacher being all gentle and calm so the neighbors don’t judge me. It’s like walking a tightrope.

6. Allergies

(via)

This one is for me since my kids don’t seem bothered yet. I can’t breathe and I’m trying to Adult my way through and it just sucks. And of course, we are outside all the time and I’m breathing in everything that makes me miserable. Yippee!

7. Later Bedtimes

(via)

It’s light out longer now and with school-age kids, good luck trying to make them sleep while the sun is still up. Gone are my grown-up evenings that begin at 8:00 pm sharp. We are now a 9 pm bedtime household until September.

8. Ruined Shoes

(via)

Whether it’s puddles, mud or a romp on a leftover snowbank, April and May are the months of ruined shoes. It’s ok. I love spending money on new ones!

9. Dog Poop Piles

(via)

So many assholes let their dogs poop in snowbanks all winter without picking it up and now when you go on walks with your kids, the poo piles are emerging with the melting snow. Hey dudes, pick up the poop, K?

10. Hearing They’re Bored After Five Minutes

(via)

All winter, you fantasize about kicking your cooped up kids outside when it’s FINALLY nice out and then, they’re back at the door in a matter of minutes complaining they’re bored. Welcome to summer.

(Image: GettyImages)