mom fun

20 Things You Never Say Until You Become A Parent

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There are so many wonderful things about being a parent; it’s rewarding to watch your child grow, learn and develop into a tiny human. It’s amazing to help shape his little world. It also makes a parade of nonsense spew forth from your lips.

Since I’ve become a mother, there are things that come out of my mouth that seriously make me feel like I’ve traded in my dignity for a baby. There are certain things that kids just do not know. You have to tell them. There are also certain things that only parents say, because people without kids are not subjected to this nonsense.

1. Pee pee is not a toy.

2. You can’t eat dinner naked.

3. We’re having fish sticks and peas for dinner.

4. You got your pants on – good job!

5. (Insert animated children’s movie here) is actually really enjoyable for adults, too!

6. I just want to pee alone.

7. Don’t stick your hands in your butt.

8. You can’t sleep under the dining room table.

9. Don’t put your pillow over your sister’s face.

10. The toilet water is not for drinking.

11. If you keep eating your books I’ll have nothing to read you.

12. Carrots are for eating – not sticking up your nose.

13. Why don’t they sell wine at playgrounds?

14.  Don’t bite the cat.

15. Don’t wipe your nose on my pants.

16. Don’t wipe your nose on my shirt.

17. I wish Target had a bar.

18. Don’t lick the floor.

19. No touching boobies.

20. ‘Shit‘ is not a nice word.