being a mom

8 Things (Almost) Every Mom Does When Their Partner Is Out Of Town

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You love your partner and most of the time you live in harmony, but that doesn’t mean you stop looking forward to them getting the hell out of the house once in a while. Unless you’re in a relationship where your partner is gone a lot, you look forward to those little chunks of free time, even if it means dealing with more than your usual share of parenting duties. While the old ball and chain is away at a team building retreat in Phoenix, you’re hogging the remote and eating all their snacks. It’s not such a bad life. Here are eight things almost all moms do when their partner is out of town:

1. Eat all of the things.


What’s on the menu? Whatever you want. You don’t have to take anyone else’s preferences into account — well, except your kids, but they don’t eat anyway. Go to the grocery store, fill up a cart, change into your stretchiest pants, and get ready for a days-long love affair with your favorite meals.

2. Watch movies and shows they hate.


Yes, Netflix, I would like to continue watching Gilmore Girls. All. Night. Long. #TeamJess

3. Slack on grooming.


You weren’t really concerned with impressing anyone in the first place, but now slacking even harder just seems like the right thing to do. Unless you’re going to work, it’s a pajama pants life for you.

4. Get absurdly freaked out at night.


The floor creaked and you’re pretty sure it’s the serial killer in your kitchen sharpening his axe. Also one of the dudes from Scream is behind literally every corner. Oh, and don’t forget about that monster who lives under the bed who only comes out when your spouse is gone. He’s hungry.

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