17 Things I Would Rather Do Than Go Out On A Date

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Hair removal!

Image: Reddit

At this point, I haven’t shaved my legs in so long that my pajama pants stick to my leg hair, creating a constant stream of static electricity. I use that like a super power and chase my kids around, zapping them with my fire finger. But every once in a while, I get to the point where it’s time to shave, which can take an hour. I tell myself it’s in case I do end up on a date at some point, but really, it’s because I’ve reached peak Yeti and am repulsing myself. Then you have to factor in the blood clean-up. Because when your body hair is long enough to brush, there is no razor in the world that is going to glide over that without carnage.

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