17 Things I Would Rather Do Than Go Out On A Date

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I would rather roll needles all over my face and then apply snail goo than go on a date, and I’m not even a masochist.

Image: CBC

Date night is the perfect night to inflict pain on yourself in the form of a Dermaroller! I love my skin, and I love taking care of my skin, even if it hurts like a bitch. I use this Dermaroller, and follow it up with actual snail goo, like this one. I may be the only single person I know, but my skin looks fucking FANTASTIC, so I consider it time well-spent. Besides, in the battle against aging, dating has to be a handicap. There are drinks and bar air and lots of frowning (I am delightful). Seriously, I am probably turning back time by staying single.

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