Last Night’s ‘The Walking Dead’ Was A Very Special Episode All About Bad Parenting

Apologies in advances to all of you throngs of Norman Reddus fans because you got none of him last night, all you got was what I will now refer to as Bad Parenting 101 with Rick Grimes. Here is a GIF of your secret boyfriend Norman, which will serve as your spoiler alert in case you haven’t watched yet because I plan on spoiling the whole episode below because I neeeeed to talk about it.

SPOILERS AFTER NORMAN!

So, in Walking Dead land everything is so not Lego Movie awesome, everything is awful. The prison is over, everyone is missing, Judith is missing, Hershel is just a damn gaping mouth head until the very best mother ever â„¢ Michonne katanas him in his gaping mouth head before she finds some new pets and takes them for a walk.

The whole dream sequence where we see Michonne when she was just carving up cheese before she started carving up walkers was so distressing to me! A lot of us knew that her original pets shown last season were related to her somehow, but in this episode we learn that one of them was her lovah and the father of her beautiful little baby and the other cute guy was possibly her lovah’s brother, I think. It makes sense that Michonne is always hella-angry, and it makes me so sad to think about what became of her baby.

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Meanwhile, because everyone always has no idea where Carl is,

he is off wandering around with his dad who is doing everything possible to make Carl think he is a zombie. He is walking like a zombie, groaning like a zombie, and basically stumbling around like a drunken zombie. Carl dumps him in a farmhouse and goes adventuring on his own with only a few bullets in his gun while dad zombie naps on the sofa.

Carl has reached angry puberty-ridden teenager level 87 and gives a very pissy speech to his dad about he ruined everything because all Rick basically carried about was playing REALITY FARMVILLE while the Gov’r’nah planned to kill all of them. Carl is correct, and this is the first time in the entire series I haven’t hated him, but he is basically a punkass and needs to learn how to stay put and not go off trying to prove how grownup he is. I guess it’s worth it that he became part of a zombie sammich pile-on because he found pudding, and then he gets to go home to dad and humble brag about eating all the pudding. But before then, Rick has to do an even better zombie impersonation but reaching his scraggly hand out to his son and making a lot of zombie noises so Carl comes pretty close to shooting him. In the face.

I’m sorry, and I know Rick felt pretty sucky, but don’t you wanna be super careful when you have a trigger happy teenager around to NOT act exactly like a walker?

In my opinion, this episode has a happy ending because the very best mom in the world shows up at the farmhouse where Rick is magically doing OK again and thank God, because at least someone responsible will be around to keep Carl out of trouble. I know it is the zombie apocolypse, I know everyone is doing their best to stay alive, but considering one baby is lost (Judith) and Carl is all Rick has left, shouldn’t he be keeping a better watch over him?

(Image:Tumblr)