The New Playground Discussion: Silver Balls, Butt Plugs & ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’

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mommy porn 50 shadesI’ve always learned a lot from doing the school run. Between all the parents (mostly moms) in various stages of parenthood, there’s always a new tip to pick up. How do you sleep train? What makes a better baby food puree – Magic Bullet or Vitamix? When will my child stop wetting the bed? How do you deal with tantrums? Lately, however, the trend in talk is less about parenting and more about where to find the best vibrator.

That’s right. With practically every mom in the schoolyard having finished or about to embark upon the “Fifty Shades” Trilogy (including Fifty Shades of Grey), talk is of nothing but the books. And it’s gone way beyond whether – or when – people plan on reading them. One woman I know confided she’s been masturbating non-stop for weeks and is currently on her second reading of the third book. Another ‘fessed up that she bought a set of nipple clamps. Even one of the teachers, upon overhearing yet another Fifty Shades conversation, smiled knowingly as she hurried to her car. Had she read the books, someone asked. “Damn right,” she replied, cheeks blushing hotly.

One of the best things to emerge from the popularity of the books is the openness with which we’ve all been chatting. About sex, obviously, but also about the accoutrements. Girly days at the spa have been replaced with outings to sex shops. Instead of moaning about their husbands, wives are sharing blow job tips. While the kids play soccer and climb the jungle gyms, the moms are comparing the Wild Orchid g-spot vibrator to the subtle, stylish Lelo range.

And it’s not just in the schoolyards. Soirees, salons and subway cars are filled with ladies offering up knowing looks and product advice, from blindfolds to butt plugs. One high-powered marketing exec told me that the ladies in her office gather in the boardroom to contemplate whether or not they preferred being tied up, or tying up their partners. An ex-flight attendant claims the secret to long-haul flights in friendly skies was the butterfly strap-on. After Googling it, I understood why. Screw the mile-high club with its getting caught risk factor! This was private pleasure any time…

Whether the books are literary masterpieces or just a cultural trend, one thing’s for sure – even the most uptight readers have loosened up on account of reading them. Where once women would only download them onto their e-readers, now they buy the books and read them with pride. “Mommy Wars” be damned – the chatter that has emerged from this trilogy online and in person has united us all. Now if only our partners would read it, too…

(Photo: CREATISTA/Shutterstock)