Weird News

Teen Tries To Kill Her Grandma Over A Cell Phone Because Humanity Is Doomed

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collard greensI’m not usually one to harp about kids these days and how attached they are to their cell phones, but this takes it to the extreme. A North Carolina teen, Tyt’ana Lisa-Nicole Johnson, was arrested for trying to kill her grandmother, Gaylon Moody. Why? Because grandma took her cell phone away. Well, that escalated quickly.

According to news reports, 17-year-old Johnson poured insecticide and termiticide into a pot of collard greens Moody wad preparing for Easter dinner. According to Moody:

“She was on punishment. I had taken her cellphone from her. She got mad because I took her cellphone from her, and she poisoned my food,” Moody said. “I’ll tell you one thing: It ain’t good to feel.”

I think that might be the understatement of the century. Moody and Clifton Evans, a family friend, both ate the tainted greens.They were taken to an area hospital later that evening:

“We started feeling funny afterwards,” Moody said. “He and I started feeling very funny, started feeling numb from my waist up.”

Moody and Evans were initially treated for a stomach virus, but the next day Evans collapsed after being released, and the diagnosis was changed to food poisoning. No one would have been the wiser had Johnson not apologized to Evans, admitting that she only meant to make her grandma sick. Because THAT makes everything better!

“I asked her about it. She said she didn’t mean for me to get sick,” Evans said. “Actually, it was all aimed at her grandmother…I didn’t really believe this thing could happen,” Evans said. “You hear about this kind of stuff on television, but you don’t think it could happen to you.”

I think Moody sums up my take on this whole mess:

“I was like, ‘Wow. Can she really do something like this over a cellphone?”

Now pardon me while I go weep for humanity.

(Photo: Shutterstock/Mona Makela)