Teach Your Kids About Good Work, Not Good Jobs

construction-workersMy son Ben loves doing things with his hands. He loves to build, with everything from Lego to Minecraft, and many of the pictures he draws are machines that he would like to build when he grows up. (He is 6 years old, though, so the machines are mostly giant killer robots.) He loves to craft, turning construction paper and stickers and egg cartons into landscapes or pop-ups or other elaborate creations. This month, he decided he wants to plant a garden this summer well, actually, he wrote a note in kindergarten-ese, bribing me with the promise of fresh strawberries if I would let him grow some vegetables. Nothing thrills him more than being given the opportunity to make something, whether he’s putting the last piece on a block tower or the finishing touch on a gingerbread house.

When he does these things when he uses his own hands to build something he does them with incredible focus and determination. And when people see him hard at work, they often smile at the intense concentration on his face.

And they usually say something like, ”Maybe he’ll grow up to be an engineer!”

It’s not surprising, really. Most engineers loved building as kids and really, what is an engineering career but an opportunity to continue to play with the grown-up version of blocks or Tinker Toys or Snap Circuits? But there was always something that bothered me about how people responded to Ben’s love of building, and recently, I figured out what it is.

Of course most engineers liked building toys and other hands-on, make-it-yourself toys. But do you know who else did?

Carpenters. Tailors. Electricians. Farmers. And brick-layers and mechanics and landscapers and literally hundreds of other specialties, some of which I don’t even know well enough to be able to name them.

There is a narrative that what you want is a ”good job.” A ”good job” may mean a lot of things, but all ”good jobs” in this context have some qualities in common. You do them indoors. They require education. They keep your hands clean. Your salary will be high. If you get a ”good job,” you spend your life using your head, and save physical work for your off hours, when you burn the calories from that business lunch or networking cocktail party at the gym. And the story goes that, if you get a ”good job,” you will be happy.

From the day our kids are born, we subtly or not so subtly communicate messages about ”good jobs.” How many of us can honestly say we’ve dressed our kids in a ”future pipefitter” onesie? When we talk to our kids about life after high school, how many of us must admit that the first thing we say is, ”When you go to college” as if there aren’t thousands of jobs, some of which our kids might love, that don’t require a college education.

And of course, if there are ”good jobs,” that means there are bad jobs. When I was writing this, I was searching for quotes about jobs and work, and I found this: ”There are two types of jobs in this world, those you shower before, and those you shower after. The after jobs remind you to work hard for the before ones.”

But why should that be true? If my son loves to get elbow-deep in the dirt of the garden, why should he search for a related career that keeps his fingernails clean? If he learns best by doing, why should he sit in a classroom instead of seeking an on-the-job apprenticeship in a trade? If he loves the outdoors, why should he choose a career that keeps him gazing longingly out a window even if it is one in a corner office? And isn’t it his decision whether a job pays too little money for him and how much money is enough?

Mike Rowe, the host of one of my favorite TV shows of all time, Dirty Jobs created the mikeroweWORKS Foundation to promote the skilled trades and argues that, in our push for kids to seek out ”good jobs,” we have created a world in which young adults are weighed down by student debt and unemployment while there are literally millions of ”bad jobs” that don’t have takers. And he tells the world that, if you are willing to try something new, something hard and yes, something dirty there is work out there for you. Dirty work, hard work, but satisfying work.

The foundation offers scholarships for those who want to retrain in the skilled trades. Among the things you need to do to get a scholarship is sign the S.W.E.A.T. pledge Skills and Work Ethic Aren’t Taboo. My favourite line from the pledge? ”I believe there is no such thing as a ”˜bad job.’ I believe that all jobs are opportunities, and it’s up to me to make the best of them.” My second favourite? ”I do not ”˜follow my passion.’ I bring it with me. I believe that any job can be done with passion and enthusiasm.”

If your child is dreaming of being a Fortune 500 CEO with a multi-million-dollar dream house and an expensive car, there will be literally thousands of people doing jobs that are dirty, demanding, and physical that support that dream. To get that dream house, you need a skilled tile-layer to make sure that $80 per square foot marble tile doesn’t crack three months after the house is built, and a capable carpenter to make sure that the expansive deck with a view of the lake doesn’t fall down. That luxury car has to be serviced by a qualified mechanic, who not only has the skill to tune engine components to exactly your liking, but is also willing to get up for a 7:30 am dropoff time to do a job that requires a jumpsuit that will get spattered with grease and oil.

And, of course, in the ranks of that Fortune 500 company most employees are people who have taken ”bad jobs” the jobs that do the actual work of making things or serving customers. Some of them might, in fact, be dreaming of climbing the ladder to management, or retraining for another career. But the executives had better hope that some of their best people are happy with a ”bad job” or the only people left to do the work will be capable (but not extraordinary), barely interested”¦and resentful that they are working a ”bad job.”

Think about how often you encounter a lack of good customer service, or a lengthy waiting list for the only reliable contractor in town. Think about how much you have to pay a plumber if your pipe breaks on a weekend because ABC Plumbing’s rate is based on demand, there are fifteen people with similar problems who want it fixed now, and there aren’t enough plumbers to go around.

Now think about the last time you made something. Maybe you baked for the first time in ages, or tried that Pinterest craft that actually worked. Maybe you took up knitting or you saved some money on a renovation by laying your own floor. Whatever it is, think of the satisfaction you felt when the job was done when the thing that you made was finished.

I want my son to have a good job, but my definition of ”good” is different. I want him to be proud of what he does, whether he’s a phenomenal doctor or the best electrician in the city. I want him to be happy where he works, whether that’s on a computer, like me, or in the gloopy muck around the new foundation he’s pouring. I want him to make enough money as he defines it: the roof over his head could be 500 square feet or 5,000, the food he eats could be macaroni casserole or lobster and steak, the clothes he wears could be $40 scrubs or $4,000 suits.

And when he’s done, I always want him to be able to look at what he did, smile with the same satisfaction he does now, and say, ”I did good work today, Mom.”

(photo: Getty Images)

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