World’s Coolest Nanny Offers To Fall On A Taylor Swift-Shaped Grenade For You

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Screen Shot 2014-11-21 at 10.02.06 PMDo you have kids who like poppy tween music? Of course you do, we all do. But there’s a way out of it, because one noble young babysitter is offering to fall on a Taylor Swift-shaped grenade for you.

According to Yahoo Parenting, 25-year-old Shellie Wass from Philadelphia is eager to take that Taylor Swift concert ticket–and your kids–off your hands for a few hours. Wass wrote in her Craigslist ad:

“Parents: I am willing to buy your ticket from you and take your kids to Taylor Swift! This is great for you, because you don’t have to go to something that you don’t understand, and I get the opportunity of a lifetime to see Taylor Swift!”

A year ago her services probably would have been more in demand, though, because in the past few months every adult woman I know has suddenly found herself a surprised and unwitting Taylor Swift fan. “Shake It Off,” man. Who knew?

Wass enumerates all the reasons you should have her take your kids to see Taylor Swift:

1. I know all the words to all her songs and can sing along with your kids, unlike you.

2. You get $100+ back to do whatever you want with. Woah, think of all the extra pies you can buy for Thanksgiving!
3. Your kids won’t have to be embarrassed of you! This is really what’s most important to your kids. They don’t have to be with someone standing there bored with ear plugs in because I will be loud and singing along with them and forcing them to have the best time ever. (JK there will be no force, we will be fast friends and they will have a GREAT time all because Taylor will be there!)
4. I am willing to take photos of them so they don’t have to wear out their arms with #SELFIES!

5. I have a famous dog that would love to be their newest Instagram follower.
6. I have a great knowledge of what’s cool in the city and I would provide them with the finest Francoluigi’s pie of pizza to tailgate/eat in the parking lot while we practice a synchronized dance to Shake it Off.
7. Willing to be a part of a synchronized dance to Shake it Off.

8. Also completely okay with them standing there and ignoring me and pretending we aren’t together at all, and then escorting them to your car so that you can take them home.

Actually, Wass sounds like a hoot. She’s offered to go through a criminal background check or whatever else you need to make sure she’s “not evil” and trustworthy to be left with your children, but you should totally ditch your kids and go to the concert with Wass instead, because your kids will never agree to do a synchronized dance to “Shake It Off” with you.

 Photo: YouTube