A Ten Step Guide To Taking A Road Trip With Toddlers
6. Congratulate yourself on packing healthy snacks like bananas and cheese sticks. Try not to feel too guilty when all those snacks are either eaten or mashed into the upholstery by hour four and you drive up to the first McDonald’s you see.
7. In an effort to keep the kids entertained for the next three hours, you do your best impression of Barney. You sing, you use baby socks to make hand puppets, you read The Very Hungry Caterpillar from memory. Who cares if you’re losing your voice or you can no longer feel your lower limbs from being smushed in the middle seat- the kids aren’t crying, so you’re calling this a win.
8. Admit defeat when your sock puppets are shoved away and the boys cover their ears and wail when you try to sing to them. Crawl back into the front seat looking less like Angelina and more like Steve Urkel. Pop in the CD of kiddie songs that you received as a baby shower gift and vowed you would never listen to. When the kids stop crying and start chair dancing to Old McDonald you decide you care more about having quiet than being a clichÃ©.
9. An hour away from your sister-in-law’s house, ask your husband to pull over onto the shoulder of the highway so you can get sick. Turning around repeatedly in a moving car is harder on your stomach than the tallest roller coaster at Six Flags. Remind yourself that your sister-in-law is a wine enthusiast as motivation to get back in the car and keep going.
10. Arrive at destination two hours late and desperately needing to pee. Try to enjoy your time with family while ignoring the fact that you need to pack up and do the entire trip in reverse three days later.